Bad shit is going on. Jay started to take the nails out of the board covering the bad room door. She has officially come withing a mm of triggering. She was just starting to lose it, and I managed to give her the power over things back, and she has mellowed, and got an ego. But, I don't know how long that will last. Toots is a new 15 yr old guy, he popped out, and is now on a massive mission of protection. He is prepared to kill anyone who goes near her, with of course, the exception of me. That kid just wants to hump my leg...as most of the teen boys in her do.

She is really fucked. She is confronting the bad room. Let me explain. This is a small room in her place, referred to as the bad room by her parents. She was locked in this room for hours, sometimes days, or weeks at a time. They would tell her school she was sick, and leave her in there. It is where the abuse happened, and she was tortured and raped. It is to her, the worst place on earth. It has been boarded up. A board was nailed and screwed to the wall. Today the first nails were pulled out. She is going into her own personal hell. She is confronting her past. But, she is also triggering, freaking, and starting armageddon in her head.

I have told her that this is her way to get her life back. You see, in 2001 her dad went at her again, and she beat the shit out of him.....seriously beat him into a bloody pulp. Her mom stepped over him, and left him bleeding on the floor, and she went to bed. That was the beginning of quite a few times that she worked him over with a baseball bat. He eventually got the point, and gave up. She basically beat him into respecting her. After that, they started to form a normal relationship. By the time he died, they got on pretty well. Which is why she was upset that he died. She basically finally had a real dad, then lost him.

Now, the bad room hangs over her head, and tortures her. She is going to go into it, and take pix of it to show me. She is about to confront hell itself. But there is a catch....on my instructions....she is going to destroy it. I have told her to take from it, what it did from her. I told her to go in with spray paint, and everything. To completely take her life back, and take the control back. I said "it destroyed you, now you take the power back by destroying it". I want her to feel in control, and stronger than that room. I want her to know that nothing can harm her now......and thats a guarantee now that Toots has taken over as a personal bodyguard. I know my kids are scared shitless by all of this, but she needs to take back that power. To regain her own personal control over her past. She needs to see herself as not being the weak one anymore, but being the strong one who controls her own life, and path. Once the place is destroyed, she is going to take pix of the destruction, and then it will be sealed up again. This time by her. With that door being sealed, so will any fear that she ever had of it. It will all be locked inside, and she won't have to be scared anymore.

It is time for this step. She approached me today saying that she wants to speak of what happened to her. I told her to put it in a locked diary. To do up a new one just for all that shit. She has agreed. So, I'm sure a few trusted people will get passwords, but the rest of you will just never know the extent of it all.

Very soon my baby byrd will start a new life. One without pain, andger, and sadness. As usual, I will be right at her side...cheering her on.

Laterz

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014