Well, Geoff showed up last night, then out of the blue he showed up tonight. It was cool. I'm beginning to think Jay likes him or something. I do my thing, and those two yap. Geoff keeps telling her stories of when we were teens. So she has become glued to his every word. He has alot of dirt on me. I mean ALOT!

So Jays mom is pissed off. Jay let her know today that Satans dad is useless and screwing us. Then there is my mom who blew $720 in a few hours, then announced to me that she needs me to pay for our family's xmas dinner. Jays mom flipped over that. She has decided to help us out, but put down a rule that if she did, we had to buy a gift for eachother. She knows about last year, and she wasn't impressed. You see last year my mom pulled the same shit. Jays rentz sent us some cash for xmas, and my mom bitched that we weren't gonna have xmas dinner because she couldn't afford it at all. So we had to shell out all of the cash. I had given Jay her gift early, so she had nothing from me xmas morning, and I had one thing from her.....although I loved it, and immediately put it out for everyone to see. She gave me my gift xmas eve, so xmas morning neither of us had anything for the other. We watched everyone else open their shit, and we sat there bored. It fucking sucked. This year is already different. I have 3 things under the tree, and Jay has her 8 from me. I only have 3 because she hasn't wrapped the rest yet.....we are all out spoiling eachother this year. We want it to be good. Of course my mom is expecting all this shit from us, but I have nothing to give her. She will get what I can afford to buy for dinner. Other than that she can suck my fucking strap on! I'm sick of her selfish expectations from us. I have less money than her, yet I can get what I need.....why can't she? I'm just sick of this shit. This year I am concentrating on the kids, Jay, and Kristian.

So, if you read Jays diary, you will see that we watched Fight Club for the first time last night. We never got around to renting it, so finally we did. Well shit....here I am telling her that buddy is an mpd, and the other guy is an alter. She is saying "no", and I start to explain how I can tell, but she keeps disagreeing with me. Then it hits the part in the bar where buddy reveals the truth. I cheer, Jay goes "what the????". As it goes on, it becomes perfectly clear....Jay realises she is watching a movie documenting what is going on in her head and BANG! She fucking triggers hard, and out pop 5 new alters. Poor Jay. Of course I had no idea. She never said a word about the trigger until this afternoon. But last night she needed a serious talk with me. She is all fucked up over the fact that she started out as a 14 yr old alter, then took over as the host. J.C. was the original host. So I had to explain it all to her again, then chill her out. She had some serious headfuck last night. I managed to get her understanding how that was possible, and finally she mellowed out. That movie seriously fucked with her. So, as with most MPDs, she is a masochist, and wants to buy the movie now, so she can fuck her mind with it continually. I'm gonna get it for her. She gets what she wants, and if she wants to mess with her head, then I'll wait for her to finish so I cxan pick up the pieces, and put her back together.

Jay commented to me tonight over how she was thinking earlier, and I make the kids real. I talk to them, get them wrapping presents, writing to santa, helping me with making cookies, and I made them stockings that are hanging, and I give them presents too. She said she was kinda amazed by the way I made them real. I said that I chose for it to be that way. That I choose to see them for them, and to make them my real kids. That I like to get them involved, and I want them to be a part of my family. Even my mom is starting to see them as real children. Hell, she already has a present wrapped for them under her tree. The kids are as real as I am to me. Because of that, they act like real kids, and are happy and content. The abuse seems to flood out of them, and they settle in as normal kids. Nothing matters to them, except for the odd person they see as a threat....then I just hid them behind me, and protect them. It's cute when that happens.

So thats about it for now. I am dead tired, and in need of some serious ZZZZZ's.

Laterz

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014