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~What the ffffffffff....??????????~ Monday, Mar. 17, 2003 - 4:45 PM I LOST MY GIRLFRIEND!!!! I seem to have misplaced Jay. Don't ask me how, but somehow I did. She went to the bank to pick up money that her mom sent to her. I went to get satan from school. Then I met with my mom, and we went out to do some shit I had to do. On the way back, my mom decided to go looking for Jay. We hit the bank....no Jay. We hit the dollar store she loves.....no Jay. We drove through the massive parking lot ....no Jay. We went to both bus stops she would use to come home.....no Jay. We could not find her anywhere. It kinda bothered me. It was like chasing a dream. You know....where you are looking for something, and try as you might, you can't see through the mist. It really bugged me, more than I can say. We found out today that the plane ticket was purchased, and Jay goes home on Thursday. She has a 8pm flight, and will be gone until Monday. Yet again my worst fears come to light. I hate this. I turn into an unfeeling bitch because I need to distance myself from her emotionally, because the physical distance kills me. So, I kill off the relationship between us, so that the separation doesn't kill me. It's one fucker of a catch-22. I hate it. So...ya. Separation anxiety has officially kicked in. What can I do? Nothing....absofuckinglutely nothing at all. Jay says she is going to be doing some shit in the UK, so it's good that she is going.......but thats her side. All I ever see is that I am being left behind. Sleeping in a bed alone, not eating because the meals are made for her.....I just shut down. I just don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. It just keeps getting harder. Fuck! IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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