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~killing off the drugs~ Monday, Mar. 10, 2003 - 4:38 PM Hmmmmm.....where to start. How about 'ere....... Jay spoke to my shrink today. I have officially been told to stop taking Prozac. I'm kinda weirded out by this, yet at the same time, I am sighing in relief. I had taken myself off of it due to my body rejecting it, and due to pressure from Jay and my shrink....well, I started taking it again 2 days ago. Since I started taking it again, all I have wanted to do was kill myself. No reason, no particular trigger. Just wanted to off myself for no reason. Pushed Jay away, pushed the kids away, but I clung to my son. Last night he looked at me, and said "Why are you so sad?". That bothered me. Infact that bothered me all night. I got up this morning, and took my time doing stuff before I took my pill. I was fine, in a pretty good mood. Took the pill, within an hour I couldn't function, and yet again....I wanted to kill myself. No whining, no complaining, jus "oh ok, I'm going to die". Thats fucked! So, the pills started to do the exact opposite of what they are supposed to. So, even though I have programmed myself to take the fucking things, tomorrow I will fight it off, and go without. Maybe once I have it out of my system I will want to be with Jay again. I dunno. Maybe it has just been too much for too long. Laterz, IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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