I have felt the bile in the back of my throat all day. I hurt....I hurt alot. Jay beat me last night....well it was more like a night of spanking. I thought it would break me. It didn't. She stopped before the pain had a chance to break me down. She covered me with welts, and today I have deep black bruises. But now I hate the world even more. Now I feel ill.

I feel like a fool. I tried to be sexy tonight. What a joke! I can feel the weight creeping up on me, and the disgust that comes with it. I have always put up a front. Showed the world that I liked who I was. I don't. I am told by ppl to diet. Ok, sure....no problem. I'll cut down on the minimum that I eat anyway, and still remain the same. I hate it, and me. Why did I have to be fat? sick? sad? Fucked if I know.

I can't believe I actually thought Jay would be interested in me. All she did was stand there and stare at me like I was boring her. She says it was the alters, but I know I'm ugly. I know my body is disgusting. I just won't make that mistake again. My head is swimming, I feel like shit. I just wish I could sleep. Why can't I sleep.

I exploded at Tel. I feel bad, but I just want to be alone, and he wouldn't let me be. I can't be around anyone. I'm a shit person inside and out. I would rather just hide under a rock, and wait to die. I just want to forget that there is a world outside of my bed.

There is no point in me even continueing this post. I'm just being a whiny cunt anyway. Nothing I say is important, so why say it? I give and give, yet somehow I am forgotten.

I give up!

Laterz

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014