Internal Movement -> Latest Bitching and Complaining-> Past Bitching and Complaining -> Interesting Comments from People -> ->Bitch me out here! My other diaries! -> My brain farts!-> My Bitching! -> My Fantasies! Szandora.com Free Pic of the Day
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~LMAO!~ Sunday, Mar. 11, 2007 - 12:07 PM So yeah, I sure do talk to myself alot. lol My mother just informed me that I am malnourished, and essentially dying. Thanks mom! I was downstairs, doing my thing, and suddendly came over with a feeling. "OH NO!" I tried running up the stairs, but sure enough, I couldn't hold it at all. So, one pair of u/w is garbage, and my jeans and mat are soaking in the bathtub. I have liquid coming out of my ass. No solids at all. I am weak, dizzy, and my stomach is burbling so loud it's scaring me. I've never heard this before. Then again, I've never gone this long without food. A quarter of a bowl of tomato soup in 72 hours. On one hand I want to start to train my body to eat again, but on the other hand, if I ignore it I'll die. Such a catch 22. I like how I seem to be shrinking too. I dunno. We'll see what happens. Just fucking lovely. I don't need this shit when I am waiting for everyone to show up with furniture. *sigh* What I wouldn't give to get lost in a pussy right now. I'm just not ready for a new partner yet. I need my stomach to heal first. I don't want anyone to see my pain. It's none of anyones fucking business! Well, maybe I'll try a 1/4 cup of vegetable soup when everyone leaves like my mom says to. She told me that she has been here before. I just don't like to eat alone. No point in cooking when no one is here. It's just a waste. I have everything proportioned in family size meals. So anything I cook is going to be way too much. Especially since my son hates what I eat, and doesn't touch leftovers. Maybe I'll just start buying swanson bowls to live off of from now on. Or atleast until I find someone new, or someone to have a meal with me a few nights a week. I dunno. I need to learn to eat again first. That could take quite a while. I'm so fucked. BUT! My cheekbones are becoming more prominent. I think I might play with my camera later. or...tomorrow. The whole food thing might get in the way. Blah! I better get my ass downstairs. I think it has stopped now. The sharp pains are backing off a bit now. It's all good in the neighbourhood. I now know the attraction that anorexic's feel. It's kinda nice. And it makes you look good too. I'm outie! IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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