Holy fuck was I pissed off yesterday.

Had it out with April last night. No screaming or anything. But she was saying all day that she didn't do anything, and she didn't know what my problem was. Stupid thing to say.

Satan wnt to bed, she asked me again, and I let her know exactly how much of a fuck up she is, and how much I don't want her here.

She is no longer welcome in my room, and was told that he utter display of disrespect on saturday night has her no longer welcome in my apartment.

She went on this big thing about how she can't compete with Jay because I'm still all fucked up, and I laid into her. Why the fuck is she trying to compete in the first fucking place? She was told from day one that I don't want a relationship, and don't know if I will ever want another one. I had trust issues to begin with, now I seriously trust no one, nor do I have any wish to get close to anyone at all. She was told all of this before she came in the first place.

I think she finally realized some shit last night, but sometimes talking to her is like screaming at a brick wall. She has always wanted more than I have to offer her. Hell, I have nothing to offer anyone anymore. It just aggrivates me that I have to keep telling her that she is here as a friend, and I was helping her get set up in Edmonton. She wants me, but I really don't want anyone. I was just happy to have someone to sleep next to at night so I could sleep period.

So, I'm still quite pissed, but now I am more just disgusted by her.....and she knows it. Or atleast she should. I told her straight out last night.

So, there you go. The good times are over. Oh, she tried to lay a bunch of excuses for getting that high. Hell, she even tried blaming me, and my friend for passing it to her. Ummmmm....no April, you chose to smoke it, it was you. *sigh*

I hate when ppl can't own up to their own actions. Bottom line, I needed her, and after 2 months of being there for her, she pulls this shit the one day that I truly needed her. It just goes to show that you can only depend on yourself. I told her straight out that had Jay been here, the screen would have been popped out, her shit would have gone out the window, and she would have been out the door. It was nice having the pitbull here in times like that. She didn't take shit from anyone, and when she flew off, I backed off and let her go at them. I'm just too fucking nice.

I told April last night that the lack of respect has me not wanting to know her at all, and that when she finally moves out, I don't think I want to be friends with her. The only hitch is that Satan loves her to death. But, all it would take is me telling him she did drugs, and he would write her off in an instant. I don't want to hurt him though, so I'll have to figure something out. But, I'm not worried, something will sort itself out in the end.

Yep, I'm disgusted. Hell, after becky's display, she is no longer welcome in my apartment, why the fuck should this scrunt still be?

Oh ya! SHE ISN'T!

I give up.

I think I am just better off alone.

I mean, how do you get over being crushed by someone you planned on marrying anyway?

I think I need to see another shrink.....or even just a therapist....I'm sick of pills.

On a lighter note.....Tommy Lee seduced a transvestite in a club......and he didn't even know it. That's Rock 'n' Roll for ya.

Fuck it!

I'm fed up.

I'm done!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014