Ok, so I am not paying attention to much online lately.

My life has been taken over by long phone calls from NFLD. *sigh*

I've fought it off, shoved it out, and even tried going cold. But, nothing is working. So, last night I started to give in to her. I'm just going to let April drag me under.

On some levels I think there is no way that I can be this over Jay. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that my pain is losing the kids. Not her at all. I have never felt so relieved or free.

My days consist of being up most of the night talking to April, then meeting her online in the morning, grabbing a nap, then she calls me up again in the late afternoon. I forgot how it felt to have someone actually want to talk to me, and be connected to me. I catch myself smiling to myself alot now. My need to get high is fading. I am just starting to relax.
One of the scariest things in being with someone new, is the whole sex thing. But, she is a virgin. And I have told her that everything is upto her, at her pace. There is no pressure for anything at all. I can go forever without...but can she? lol

I now refer to April as "The Devil!". And her lil brother knows me as "Satan"........long story on that. But I call her the devil because she is downright evil to me. That girl is the most wicked tease I have ever met. But she is so fucking sweet, that she just sucks you in.

Satan spoke to her on the phone for the first time on Sunday. 45 min later I got the phone back. Then last night they were gabbing for 30 min. Kristian thinks she is amazing, and wants her here now. She seems to feel the same way about him. She just keeps threatening to kick his ass at video games. Then Satan found out that April plays chess "you can kick her butt mommy" Uhhhhh.....no. April went to the chess championships. She can fucking play hardcore, and Satan thinks that because I can beat him, I can beat anyone. He's cute.

It's crazy you know. I just feel good. I smile to myself alot now. It's just always there. She makes me want to be a better person, and tells me constantly that I can be, and that I am worth it all. I'm just amazed by her more and more every day.

Well, she is due online any minute now, and Geoff is ready to pounce her.

I feel like this is all surreal. But she is so fucking genuine......it just blows my mind.

Ah well......

I give up.

No point in fighting her off, she always wins anyway.

But yeah......

I'm content.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014