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~This sucks ass!~ Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005 - 10:58 PM I have no one to talk to. Or atleast no one worth talking to. And because of that the ache is coming. *sigh* During the day I end up chatting with other women, friends, and even doing things. But at night, the walls close in, and I start to think, and I start to realize how alone I truly am. But, I choose to be this way. I don't want the drugs, the being ignored, and the being second best. I chose life.....in the immortal words of Trainspotting. Things will get better. Things will calm inside me. Things will mellow. I just miss having someone to talk to. Someone to share my stupid thoughts with. Someone I can just joke around with, or curl up with. I also hate the fact that my sex drive is at about 70% now, so I am climbing the walls. *bangs head on the wall* No, the walls are closing in on me. I need someone to talk to, and am fed up with the cunts who are around right now. I need to get out of here, go somewhere, have fun. Dwelling on this shit is doing nothing for me. I lost her to drugs, I have to let her go. Nope, no rebounds for me, I need the strength to just be neutral until I can put 100% of me into someone else. I found out that I lost weight, I got excited, and realized I had no one to tell. So I sat here, wrote it in my diary, and pretty much kept it to myself. That sucked ass! I need someone to cheer me on, pat me on the back, and be happy for me. My weight had me suicidal in Nov. The fact I am dropping is a major thing to me. But, not to anyone else. Oh well. Wecome to being alone amber. No one said it was gonna be easy. IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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