Yeah, it stings.

It more than fucking stings. It makes me sick.

Why fucking hide this shit from me, and leave me to feel all in love, when you aren't? Why fuck me around like that?

Things would have been a million times better if I had just been told goodbye in Nov. But instead I have these little games being played with me, and some little bitch that I can snap like a fucking twig lipping me off in email. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE ALREADY!

Kal, if you read this, find me, I need you.

I still can't believe Satan brushed it off this morning. He just doesn't give a fuck anymore. I can't blame him, in alot of ways I don't either. It's the whole playing me with nice words in email, and stringing me along that has got on my tits.

I fucken knew it was over in Nov, and I said that to her, and she said it wasn't, that she just needed time. Fuck whatever. There are better people in this world. Hell, there are better ppl in my city.

My tastes have moved past her anyway. Mentally I moved on long ago, it's the fuckin' emptional part that is fucking with me. I just want the next few months to be over, that way all this shit will fade, and I'll be back ontop of my shit.

Atleast I can live without lies now. Atleast I have that. 5 years of bullshit really wears on someone, and to be told everything is my fault, and I am psycho.....well, I know what I did, and why I did it. I don't feel proud of anything I did, but right now I know that I am not that person anymore. Right now I am calm, and collected. Atleast she waited until I was mentally sound to throw this shit at me.

Yep, at the end of the month I am getting more ink. It's sad how when things are over, and you sit and assess the situation, you start to realize exactly how better off you really are. I mean, I have play money now, no lies to wade through, no broken trust, no fear of upsetting someone who flip flops in what is ok that day, and what isn't.

Yeah, the kids went into hiding because mom is no longer there. So be it. They are better off hidden. Too bad she is giving them more shit to deal with. Hell, her gf doesn't even know about them. I figure they will come out again in another 12 years or so.

So be it. If I was such a bad person, then why was I mom to the end? Because by the moment in time that Skit disappeared, I can pretty much figure out when they hooked up. Poor boy. I didn't even get to say goodbye. That bothers me more than anything.

Oh well, live moves on, ppl change, and I will get past this shit, as long as the incessant emails stop.

Fuck em both, they can have eachother. I'd rather have someone who knows who they are, how to take care of themself, and someone who is actually good looking.

I'm done.

Fuck the world!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014