So I sent that email, posted it here so that I won't forget that moment, and was just about to go offline when my boy in Vegas pm'd me. We had a jam session about how fucked up our shit is, and what not, and in the end, he calmed me, and I just went to bed. He is seriously considering coming up here because I'll never have the cash to go south. Why does he want to come? Because he thinks we need a hug. lol

The guy is fucking massive, pierced like a pincushion, covered in ink, and is right now recording his 6th album. He is a piercist, tattoo artist, does branding, and scarification, and has done several suspensions himself. He keeps trying to talk me into suspension...but no...not my thing. I have no interest in doing it. Watching? yes...hooks through body? no. I suppose we will see what happens. Life is build on good intentions after all. Wether we actually go through with shit is a whole other thing.

But I did come up with a theory last night while we were talking. My theory is that crazy ppl have a psychotic form of gaydar. I mean I can sit somewhere look at someone and say "yeah, she's a dyke" then watch the woman walk up to her partener and laugh. Well, I seem to always end up talking to crazy ppl. It's like out of a room of mentally sound ppl, I choose the onw psychotic to approach. Not that I'm complaining mind. I happen to enjoy other ppls psychosis. It reminds me that I am not alone.

I have been doing alot of thinking. I think that I am going to go to my dr, and get referred to a psychotherapist. I don't need a shrink, as I don't need pills. I just need to talk to someone who will listen to me, and give me feedback. Yep, it be about time that amber goes back to therapy. Gotta love crazy ppl! Hmmmmmm I'm gonna watch Girl Interrupted tonight I think....maybe.

What I do know I am gonna do tonight, is I am going out. I have mass anxiety about leaving my apt. But I am gonna push myself out the door. I'm being kidnapped by my best friend and his wife. We are going to her 'rents place, and that alone will be amusing. Her dad will most likely be 3 sheets to the wind by the time I get there, and that alone is hilarious. He gets drunk, picks on Geoff, and tells fucked up stories. So I am looking forward to going, just finding it hard to leave. *sigh* It sucks being me some days.

Whats worse is I have like 5 ppl that want to come and see me, and I'm all "ok" about meeting them, but paranoid I'll get hit on or they'll want to crash here while they visit. I really have a hard time with having others around. I invite only certain ppl to crash at my place, these ppl are just expecting it to be ok. Maybe I should just say I'm going to be in Calgary that week? Give them my aunts addy there, so they can go look for me at hers. Oh she'd love that! She fucking hates me, and a bunch of pierced and tatted up ppl banging on her door in the middle of the night would probably freak her out. Hmmmmmm....maybe I should do that?

Well, time to actually put clothing on, eat something, and get my ass ready to go.

I miss these peeps, and rumor has it they are moving back in the summer. I can't fucking wait!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014