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~Odd~ Tuesday, Nov. 30, 2004 - 1:35 AM I find it oddly annoying that I'm in canada.....The Great White North.....and it's warm and brown right now. But Sacramento California gets colder than us, and gets a shitload of snow dumped on them. Damn. Looks like another brown xmas....just like '97. Well, my hours are royally fucked. I just finished doing all my dishes and cleaning the rats with ears...at like 1am yet. I am up until like 3-4 am usually, and then nap in the afternoon. I become one with reality at like 3pm, and then I am wired all night. It figures. So I have some mild disapointment. I was told via email on sunday morning that Jay would be online today and we could have a chat. Well, nothing at all. Not even an email. Just because I have basically worked through my issues she isn't around, and probably thinks I am a raging beast still. But, I'm not. I am starting to mellow out a wee bit. Now I just want to talk to her, but have no option to. I need to talk to her, make times to call her. If I have to call her at the pay phone by her place again I will. It's no biggie for me. The only downside is she freezes because she has to stand outside. I can't help but wonder if she is sick again. The last time she flew here she had pneumonia. The cold humid air fucks her up now. Her body got used to the dry cold she has had here for the last 4 winters. Well, I just went and pissed myself off again. Why didn't she get on the plane? Now she is stuck in a country on the other side of the Atlantic with one of her main childhood abusers....who is abusing her yet again. I just don't see the loophole in this. I am actually quite lost now. Is she gone for good? IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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