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~Splitting?~ Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2004 - 1:46 AM We never have anything good to say anymore. Everything is an arguement now. I am extremely hurt by the lack of contact on my birthday, when that contact was the one wanted contact. Everything is a snide comment dripping with sarcasm. Empty promises, bullshit stories, and lonliness. I sit here aching inside. Like my insides are shredding themselves. I feel ill, hate the world, and want to give up and die. I feel like I am nothing. Like I don't exist at all. I bought the new Harry Potter movie on video tonight, I even watched it. But I couldn't enjoy it. Not at all. I hurt too bad to laugh where I should. And when I smile, I start to cry. I feel ill. I am always nauseous, and have wicked indigestion. It made eating dinner with my dad really hard. The only positive thing that came out of this day was finding episodes of The Young Ones on vhs at wally world. I found and bought 2, and my mom and I are looking to see if there are more on friday. Fuck. I'm so fucking miserable that I don't even have the energy to tell someone off. Instead I just sit there quietly, and ignore it all. I just can't be bothered with it. I don't have it in me anymore. I guess in the end I'll fade away. Even this diary may be coming to an end. After all, it is all documentation of us. Perhaps it should just be left in the past like the rest of it. IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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