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~Dirty little moments kill me~ Monday, Nov. 22, 2004 - 9:54 AM Well, tomorrow I turn 29. Yay. I have a wicked depression creeping up on me. Right after my birthday my moms xmas tree goes up, and all this xmas bullshit starts. It becomes the so called "family" time of year, and you are supposed to hee happy and celibrate. Well, unless you are me that is. I can't face this shit alone. I need my baby here. At the moment being without her for xmas overshadows starting my shooting up. I am waiting for the drug to arrive at my pharmacy. So I have nothing to do until I get the call, then I call Montreal to let a drug company nurse know I have it, and she gets a nurse here to train me on injecting. That's all there is to that. But xmas....now that is head fuck. I can't handle not getting a hug on my birthday. But to go through xmas eve without us going for our walk to look at lights together....well, I think that night I may actually crack and end up cutting. That shit is too fucking hard for me to deal with. I just don't want to have to deal with it. Jay says she'll be here, but her mom tells me another story. I don't know who to believe. I figure since her mom is the one with the money, I should listen to her. I just don't know. I tried to have hope, but I ended up shooting the bitch because she pissed me off. *sigh* IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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