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~Hard~ Saturday, Jul. 31, 2004 - 12:32 AM Sometimes life gets really hard. There is no intention to make it this way, but it just seems to lean in that direction. A kid was rescued tonight after she was drugged, and was about to be raped. How many more kids can there be? Why did that fucking sick cunt never get caught. Why the fuck did he have to die before I could sodomize him with a splintered baseball bat? I have heard so many bad things in the last few days. I have been watching Jay slowly fall apart from memories she can't handle. Between the 2 of us, we are a complete mess. We need a vacation. I wanted to have money this summer. I wanted to pack up Jay while Satan is at my moms, and have us fuck off to Jasper for a weekend. But, no cash, no time really, and a head full of troubled kids in need of serious love and attention. My days are full of stopping kids from hitting themselves, or punching walls. Trying to explain why the things that happened to them did in the first place, and finding 2 min to catch Jay alone...when she isn't flying off the handle in a memory induced rage. Am I ever glad Satan isn't here right now. I was told the movement will slow to a trickle, but the memories are increasingly getting more fucked and intense. I am waiting for the other axse to fall, and for Jay to snap. She is teetering on the edge. Sometimes I wish life was easier. Sometimes I wish the mpd would disappear. But then I hear the little footsteps, and see big sad brown eyes, and it all washes away. I had a kid look me in the eye the other day, and say "We really do trust you yaknow". That made me smile. I mean, I do know that, but that's the first time I have been told by an alter that the alters trust me. They usually just tell me how Jay trusts me. I suppose somedays I feel cursed, but those days I chalk it up to I think too much. lol I'm off to play neopets, and to see if I can settle this new little one in. Jay says she is drinking coffee to try to counter the pill she was given. lol They are so fucking cute, that I just seem to forget the stress they can cause sometimes. IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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