Another day, another excuse.

"I was accepted for a loan, thats why I stuck around here. You always say we need money, I'm tired of letting you down"

But I AM let down..again.

I had a call at 5:13am. It was her saying "If I get on a plane tonight, will you marry me?"

Well, she didn't. And I won't. I can't go through all the bs of going to Van. to marry a let down. And I sure as fuck don't want to be owned. All a marriage certificate is, is ownership papers. No thanks.

So I get a call a little bit ago, and ya...it's her...all these fucked up excuses involving money. Fuck whatever. If she had money she would have a fucking phone, or a fucking internet connection. But she has neither.

I'm fed up, I really am. Everyday broken promises and excuses. Lately I have been questioning if I want her back at all. I'm not sure if I do. I'm tired of lifing my life on hold all the time.

I need to start looking for a new place to live. I don't want to move, but I have to. The stairs are killing me.

Well, everytime I am told by her that she is coming, I shrug. Something deep inside me hopes. But I just cry. She says she is coming, I cry because I know she isn't.

Well, if I find a place, I'll move. If she isn't here, then I won't give her my addy or phone number. It will be a clean break from her.

Oh, and get this. She emailed me saying that she tried to read my diary but it's locked. She asked me why, and when I decided to lock it. *sigh*

Hmmmm....lets see......over a year ago? 2 years ago? I've been locked since the last bullshit story she gave me about MCA showing interest.

Fuck whatever.

Do I really want this?

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014