Ahhh, such lovely language I have.

Well, I'm stressed, fucking tired as hell, but wide awake, and headfucked. What a combo.

An hour ago the funeral started. It bothers me that I can't be there for her. She never made it online, so that just makes me trip out worse. Yet again I am in that overprotective point of needing to hide her from all the shit in the world.

I just need to get through today. She is back saturday night. It's so close, yet feels oceans away.

It's odd having someone new in here. I sat back tonight and realised that this is the first time that Jay hasn't lied to me while she was in england. This is also the longest she has gone, and the kids have gone without telling me bullshit stories. How fucked up this diary must look to outsiders. How fucked it looks to me when I flip through the pages of it.

Ahh well....welcome to life with a multiple. lol

What I wouldn't give for one night of proper sleep. Where I went to bed early, and actually slept. Fucking insomnia! Atleast I know Jay can put me to sleep in an instant. I just never sleep when she isn't here. We thrive on eachother so much, that we fall apart when we are separated. Atleast there is some form of trust developing on my end. It's hard, but it's starting. I still laugh at that. She is the multiple, but I'm the one who can't trust. *sigh*

I think I am gonna lay down for a bit here. Catch a couple of hours before it's time to get satan up for school. I doubt I'll sleep though. Not until I hear from her that she's alright.

Oh well....one day, and one night. Thats all I need to get through.

I wonder if Nicola tried to ruin the funeral like she threatened to? Stupid bitch needs to be shot. I'd like to turn that fucking roo into a bird bath!

I'm off!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014