hey my name is noah jackson of the shire, my mate sam, he's a big fucking poppy pusher upper and golem....well let's say golem is claiming disability. dirty fuck.

love you love me love you mean it.....

**::jay::**

Good then...bloody Jay.

At any rate...on with the update.

So I did that update, and I did end up waking Jay up, and I did orally rape her, and she did scream......until.....

I had The Two Towers on, and stopped what I was doing because I swore they were talking in german. Jay looks down at me says "what?", I say "I swore for a minute there they were talking in german". Well, that was it, she was gone. Well, thats how it started. We were laughing for about 2 hrs straight.

Jays hair has been growing since the lask hawk I gave her in april. So her hair is getting pretty long, and of course her hawk is really long. Well I looked at he, and the hawk at the back was curling up, and it reminded me of the crest on my moms bird. So I told her she looked like she had a crest of bird feathers. She says "What am I? A pigeon?" That was it, we were off on one. We started to coo at eachother, that turned into clucking, and we were laughing so hard we were crying. That turned into creating new care bears "Nazi Bear" with a Swaztika on his belly (Jay), and "Commie bear" with a hammer and sickle on his belly (Me). Well, Jay ran off, and came back with a Swaztika drawn on her stomach, with a hitler tash on her lip. Fuck was that funny. Then we were off on the Two Towers as it was still playing, and Jay started saying "If you crossed Gollum with ned Flanders he would say "My Prec-diddly-ecious". Well that was enough to set us off again. Jay kept making his vpice and saying that, then when he coughed and did the "gollum, gollum" thing, it became "ned, ned". Then Jay decided that Frodo's new name was "Noah Jackson" and Sam's full name was a venereal disease.

Needless to say, what started as sex, turned into us laughing for like 2 hours, and we ended up getting so loud that we woke up Satan, and made him start laughing. It was nuts.

So that was Monday night. Now last night was a completely different story. Last nighjt we ate burgers, and Jay had a little IBS pain. I felt sorry for her, and leaned her up against me so I could brush her hair....yes, fetish strikes again......and we were just talking about everything, and nothing, and I started to tickle her back, and she said it was relaxing her, and making her feel better.

Well, me being me, I could help but cop a good feel from behind, and well, it sort of progressed to me being pinned down, and thenflipping Jay over. I made her cum, and was just sort of petting her pussy, and we were chatting away, and relaxing. It was kinda a solid sensual night really. Nothing to major, just relaxing and touching. I was pampering her.

After a bit, I kinda slid down, and went down on her again, I was starting to get into it...when get this....she farted in my face! Luckily I was on her clit so it was aimed at my neck, and not my mouth. lol I lost it, I looked up at her and her eyes were as big as saucers, and she was all shocked and red. I burst out laughing, and was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, and I fell off the bed. I was just rolling around, and Jay was all embarassed. I thought it was hilarious. I can't help it. The look on her face was classic.

Well, I calmed her down as she was going on and on about how embarassing it was and so on, and I got her laying next to me as I was sitting on the bed. I was gently tickling her back, and for like 10 min her ass kept letting off really loud! I was pissing myself laughing, she was embarassed, and I told her not to worry so much. I asked her if her belly felt any better with the whole IBS thing, she said it did, and I said "Well, there you go...better out than in."

It was fucking hilarious.

I am scared to find out what is gonna happen tonight.

But on a lighter note, Satan has a neopet now. He wanted one, so I set him up an acct. He now has a green Grarrl named "moldygrinch".

????? I dunno man.

Jay got herself a lenny, and named it "kentucky fried pigeon". Satan went off on one over that. He thought it was great. He wants a Lenny now too. Just to be like Jay. He told her to her face last week that she IS his dad. That was funny.

Well, I better wrap this up. Satan wants on neopets.

Stay tuned to find out how demented we are tonight.

Now that I said that we will be boring.

Laterz,

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014