I'm seriously thinking of not doing the whole net thing anymore.

I woke up in a great mood, read an email, and it killed my mood for the day. I almost answered it too. But then deleted it.

I am so sick of the bullshit. The threats, and lies are why I left. That email just reminded me why I need to just forget she exists.

She was never here when I needed her, would say she couldn't send my cash to help me, yet swore she would when she left......but goes on ebay sprees constantly. Ya...I was important to her. I am just someone to lie to and threaten. I feel no love from her. She acts bipolar. One moment she is saying I love you, the next telling me to go fuck myself, and is off doing drugs. She tells me not to ignore the kids, yet keeps them from me.

Right at this moment, I want to die.

How can someone love you, yet attack you, lie to you constantly, and treat you like shit?

I don't want to come online anymore.

What really gets me is how she can do all this spending on ebay, yet if she really wanted to speak to me, she would buy a card and call me. But she never did. Most of the time when I called she seems upset that I did.

She never loved me. How could someone treat me that bad if they did?

I know she is back on drugs, and that she has been for a long time. She only stopped because she was sick. Now she is right back in there. I can't compete with drugs. There is no point in setting myself up for a fall by trying to.

Why did I read it?

Did I really expect to see "I love you"?

Why did I open it?

Well, now I am gonna have to fight an inner battle, and delete any that come in now. The wounds are too fresh still, and I am tired of her rubbing salt in them.

Fuck this, I am gonna take a nap before I go for my flu shot.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014