I couldn't do it anymore.

She asked for help from me. She asked me to lie for her. She needed a girl in GA to be called by a guy so that she could look good in a board.

I called Geoff. He agreed, then came straight over so he could research the situation, and prepare for the call. We sat down at the comp, and I read the last half of the thread based on Jay's identity. I saw my name coming up over and over. Being called the ex, the psycho whore, and so on. By the end of it all, everyone had decided viki was on glue, and I was the psycho trying to fuck Jay over.....fine right? It was dealt with.

Not quite...

Jay came into the picture, and wrote this......

"Re: wtf [Re: vikisixx]

� � � #174110 - 10/01/03 05:24 AM

Edit � Reply � Quote �

Oh my Vicki what big balls you have! GUESS WHOS BACK!?? i had no access to shout

only email for over the last week and some shouters have kept me informed of

what has been going on via email.

let's have some fun! slander,slander, slander! I LOVE IT! isn't it great? you

wake up one morning a guy and then you get the next a chick?

wow.....talk about blow me away! ok,Amber is Amber Holowchak who is my sisters

ex gf my sister is Claire Harris and i am Jay Harris. Amber *psychobitch

cracklovin whore* was knockin my sister about and i had had enough and got my

sister out. Amber was pissed and REAL pissed! ah so be it, she likes to make

trouble and so does my ex, Donna Sapriken. they were good buddys at one point.

i'm not claire, i'm sure as fuck not female....jesus if i am i must have the

smallest fucking tits going. wow my clit is huuuuge!

i sure have missed you guys, and vicki i can always rely on you to do something

to try to fuck me over *very pissed off lil gal who was blown out and has a sore

head about it, fucking yogi bear on steroids* i know you have spoken to amber

and donna! they both asked me why a whackjob was contacting them.

amber also asked me why her name was being used on my picturetrail and said

she's not happy and said when she tried to contact you, you blocked her email.

oh vicki how i love thee you always twist and turn it, your garth brooks wanna

fucking hobo is waiting for you....don't forget to rip the hinges off of the

door when you leave...i have spoken to you, so you asking this shit is

hilarious...fucking squeeky pipes!

well that was fun.next.

--------------------

"SILLY WABBIT DICKS ARE FOR CHICKS""

That hurt so bad. That brought tears to my eyes. That made Geoff say "fuck her, I'm not calling now". That was a final kick in the stomache. That was the end of it all.

Donna-my moms name

Sapriken-satans dads last name

amber-me

Claire-is jays real name

Apparently I am a violent abuser who is mental and vindictive. I can't stop crying. That hurt so much.

I can't do this shit anymore. I even found my brothers pic being used as her pic. or should I say "Jay".

I hate that name. I hate all it represents. I have been threatened by her constantly in the last few days. All because of a stupid board. A board full of ppl she calls assholes, a board full of ppl she will never meet. A board that she says she wants nothing to do with, and hates everyone on there. But that board means more to her than I ever did. I was second to a bunch of asshole strangers she hates.

I have never felt so stupid, alone, and hurt. I suppose I bring it on myself really. I convince myself to believe her. She says she loves me, yet treats me like I am an enemy. This board means everything to her. I don't. She says I do, but her actions say otherwise.

So, I made a choice.

I sat and thought long and hard about it all. I decided I deserved to clear my name, and stop living her lies.

I made the conscious decision to tell the truth. Knowing she will never speak to me again, kill herself, or fly here to kill me. Because the board means more than I do.

I will now be a nark, a backstabber, a liar, whore, cunt, and anything else she feels the need to scream at me. Perhaps I am all of those.

But not a liar. I can't live a lie.

I haven't slept in 4 days because of this bullshit.

So....in cruedawg.com I posted this....

"Ya well, I am the amber being slammed on shout. I can't post on there, and I would like a chance to clear my name. Donna is my moms name, Sapriken is the last name of my sons father. Jay is a nickname I gave Claire. She has gender issues, and wanted me to lie for her. Viki found out the truth, and was telling it. I do have proof. I have the phone number of a girl on shout named lisa, who lives in GA. My buddy was supposed to call her to say he was Jay so that you would believe it. That is a pic of my older brother Hardy. She posted my real name on shout, then slammed me calling me psycho when all I did was fall inlove with her in 2000.

We are still together, now will be ex's. She will never speak to me again after this. The thing is....I have proof of all I say. I have an online diary that documents our life together since March of 2001. It has over 500 entries, all time and date stamped. My guestbook alone is full of her signings.

She has played everyone, and I was going to back her, until I found the pic of my brother, and her slamming me on shout. I'm done with her head games, and lies. Johnny Hotdog IS Claire Harris. Not a brother or sister. They are the same person.

And Krystle....thanks for the lies about it all, but thats all your look of it is. I nicknamed Claire "Jay" a long time ago. She was pretending to be a guy in 2000 named Joel. :He" said everyone called "him" J for short. The Jay showed up when I sent her roses in 2000. My aunt wrote the name like that.

I am tired of being accused of being psycho. I am not the one going online as another person of another sex messing with ppl's heads. She was caught posting pix of a guy in another band, so she took them down. Notice no other pix went up? Except for my bro? Ya, I am sure he would love knowing my supposed gf is pretending to be him on here. He would kill her.

Hell, she even tried to be nikki on aol to try to convince me of some bullshit friendship she supposedly had with him. I still have the fucking convo saved.

She is a 22 yr old female who is in the UK. Any moderator can check the IP and see it is based in england/europe. Go ahead and look. If she emailed you, sheck the IP on the email.

I am done with the lies and slander.

Viki is stalking her, and has managed to hack into her accts. Found her diaries, and guestbooks. Found her yahoo ids, and so on.

Kids? She has none. Sasha is her sisters kid, claire's niece. Brandon, or Seb whatever she is calling him, is her dead son. He died a few years back from meningitis complications. If she ever spoke of a kid named Kristian, he is my son.

She is a musician, is a recovering heroin addict, did go through detox in '99. Has been in multiple bands, and is amazing at what she creates.

Other than that......email me with any questions. Hell, I'll even give you my number to call. I'm sick of her trying to force me to live her lies, when she has no respect for me, and calls me psycho on boards to gain ppl's sympathy.

Check my IP......it will say I am in canada. Probably linked to British Columbia, as I am in Alberta, and my provider is out of B.C.

She has hurt me, my son, and my family. I'm done with the lies.

Maybe it shouldn't be here, but it concerns those she has lied to.

Ya Krystle. I outed her to you, she threatened me, and I lied to make her look good. She had me join shout to back her. She supposedly loves me. Ya right!

We were to be married legally in Vancouver in Oct.2004

I just gave it all up, because I can't lie for her, and am tired of the slander.

Email if you want to know anything else.

Other than that. I'm done. I apologise for bringing it here, but I can't do it on shout. Please pass it on.

Just remember. I can prove everything I say......."Jay" never will. Her story is weak, because it's all fake. Read back the posts. She even set up another id on shout to make it look like her ex was on there fighting with her.

Welcome to the single life amber.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_________________________

Nothing's better than choking on the meat!"

That will mark the end of any relationship there was. She will hate me forever now. But I can't handle being trashed online when I did nothing at all but love her.

She broke my heart.

She made me cry.

She made me suicidal.

I loved her, she just never loved me back. I know this now. To love is to forgive. If she sees this as just being a stupid board, and she moves past it all, and stays. Then I will never doubt her again, and will fight her side in anything else she does. But I warned her over and over. She hid this board from me, even spoke of leaving it because I found her on there.

Am I that disgusting that my supposed gf will leave a board because I found her there? Am I really that much of a piece of shit? Am I that ugly and disgusting?

How can someone love you, yet say strangers are more important. She says I don't understand. But I do too well.

I was the filler. The last pick. I was here until she could find another. She hides sites, email addys, ids on chat, ppl she talks to. She hides it all from me. I started locking her out of all my shit so that I could show her how it felt to be kept in the dark.

It never affected her at all.

Now I am alone completely.

I seem to have pushed Jade and her kids away, none of my friends want me around because I don't drink, and my now ex gf will want me dead.

But I told the truth. I tell myself the truth now. No more excuses for Jay. No more attacks on anyone. I am done now. I may regret this forever, or I may embrace it.

If she ever loved me at all, she will prove it now.

But I think I will get attacked, threatened, and then written off.

All I wanted was to be let in, all I got was hurt.

I'm having an MS attack, I'm going to bed now.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014