So much fucking anxiety. Ativan isn't even helping me.

someone slip me some fucking lithium already!

Damn!

So I feel like a dick. I was having a nice chat with shithead, and my buddy Geoff was over. Geoff decided to leave, and took forever, when I came back shithead was gone. I have to send out mass apologies to him. I feel like a right cunt on that one.

I am having serious problems with Rex right now. He is almost 2 years old, and is one of the worst off yet. He has suffered some of the worst bits of the ritual and sexual abuse. A few days ago he was scaring the shit out of the other kids. He was calling himself the devil, and have cut himself up really bad. He was covered in blood, and chasing the kids around trying to make them drink his blood. I managed to chill him out, but now he says "daddy" is after him again, and keeps hurting him. And that he is the devil, and is bad because daddy says so, and mommy hates him.

I need to get these fucking kids home to me. The entire system is hanging by a fucking thread, and I am falling apart because of it. It has me stressed to the point where I can't sleep, or eat. I am just spinning out here. All I can think about now is how I can stop all this shit from happening, and get the system running smooth again. My only answer is to get them back here. I can fix everything in person, but not over a computer. It's killing me to see them all this way.

Rex needs a real mum, not just words being typed out. Thats the only way I will be able to stop his pain, and help him to be a normal kid. He's only one though. So many fucked up kids are coming out now, and all of them need me, but I am too far away. This shit is just tearing me to pieces.

I need them as much as they need me.

I just want my fucking kids home.

Is that too much to ask?

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014