I'll never see my kids again.

Probably never be allowed to speak to them again.

And last I heard Jay was off to kill herself.

*sigh*

It's over.

I mean it's been over for over 5 months now, but we were dragging it out.

I believe she loves me, but she isn't in love with me. I knew 2 months before she left that she would never return, and sure enough, over 3 months have passed, and I am still alone. She used to freak out so bad that she was sent back here in 3 days. Now, it has been 3 months.

I believe in my heart that she was never going to return. The last 2 months she was here, I was mean, and I attacked her continually. I knew she was going for good. And I hated her for it. I felt deserted before she even left.

She told me she went out and got 3 new tattoos. all tacky as fuck. She even tattooed her fucking knuckles. I personally find that ugly, and we had a pact, a tattoo for a tattoo, and if I couldn't handle it, I would atleast go with her. She took it as "get as many as you want, I don't mind". Anything that was special. Anything that was us....it's gone. It's dead. It's over. She wasn't coming back.

She ignored me for 3 weeks, yet accuses me of doing it to her, when I spent all of my time on here waiting for her like a fucking lost dog.

I got her back for Joey finally. I made her feel how I did. I nearly killed her with it, if not completely killed her, but now she feels it.

Some chick in a lesbian chat room wanted to chat with me because we were both in Alberta. My comp crashed 3 times, and I just gave up completely on it, her, and everything. But I told Jay she hit on me. I made her feel it. I made her sick with it. I showed her the reality of my pain. She freaked, and fucked off. I hope she pukes from it. Then she will really know what she did to me.

All I wanted in this world was someone to love me for me. All I got is assholes who prey on my maternal instinct, and walk all over me.

I wanted to love her, and wanted to be loved by her.

But we are oil and water.

All we do is attack eachother, and see who can hurt who more.

I am dying inside without her, and she is slying to me, and fucking with my head. Well guess what, I'm headfucking back now.

Fuck her for hurting me. Fuck her for acting like the rest of them.

Fuck them all.

Just fuck it!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014