I should have known when the calls stopped

I should have known when the lies started

I should have known when the avoidance came

I should have known when the excuses began

I should have known when contact slowed

I should have known with the dole

I should have known when the help stopped

I should have known when the emails became only answers to mine

I should have known when the kids stopped talking to me

I should have known when 2 months passed

I should have known when the accusations were yelled

I should have known when others were involved

I should have known when the contact became one sided

I should have known when the importance waned

I just should have known.

Wishful thinking?

Hope?

Blindness?

Obsession?

Desire?

I actually fell asleep with a smile on my face, and a heart full of hope.

I woke up empty and single.

I pulled another fucking Russ. I'm such an idiot. I rode it to the bitter end......again.

It was right there infront of me.

"I'll never leave you"

Thats right.....because by the time that was said....you had already left.

So be it.

Everyone, I will be around, but might not update in here as much anymore, only once a day, or every 2. I have a locked diary that I spill it all in. I also have a new AIM id. Feel free to email me, or note me with your email addy if you want to talk to me on there, and I'll send you the id.

Don't worry about me. I am too much for people to handle. This is the 5th time I have been dropped in this fashion. I bounce back. It will be a bit harder this time as I can't physically handle going on a drug binge. But I have happily gained about 20lbs in the last week from food binges. Great medication food is. I figure a heart attack from clogged arteries will get me in about a year. It's all good.

Oh, and to those that have linked me....YOU ALL FUCKING ROCK! You make me blush with the possibility of semi-popular status in the world. My yahoo will remain the same if anyone is interested. Leave me an offline message if you want to chat, I tend to spend my time on there invisible, and hiding from the world.

I was a fool......but not anymore.

Now I am me, and I'm all I need.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014