So, I was talking to geoff last night, and we started discussing the fine art of ass kissing.

Neither Geoff, nor I kiss ass. We just don't. We have both been treated like shit so much in our lives, that we see no point in lowering ourselves to that shit. But, people do kiss our asses. I for one have had my ass kissed by quite a few people, and seem to always have atleast one person doing it a day. I don't think my rectum has ever not been sparkling.

This train of thought of course brings me to a conversation I had with Jay tonight. You see being a cunt to me, turns me into hitler. But ass kissing gets you everywhere with me. The ass kissing subject of tonight? Frank.

Frank is the guy from MCA that wants to sign Jay. Now he wants her, she has agreed with it......but it is my signature that says it's a go. So, basically the power of greyskull sits in my hands. No, I'm not full of myself, this is the reality of the situation. So an ass kissing he will go.

Of course I am milking it to death. As is Jay. The first person on my mind? My dad. My redneck, asshole, homophobic father. The man who I owe life to. Literally. He decided he wanted to have another kid, told my mom, then flushed her birth control pills. I am here, because he wanted me. He may be a headcase...but he is my daddy. I told Jay to ask Frank about the almighty Lynyrd Skynyrd. A wonderful band who has been signed to MCA forever it seems. I wanted a shirt for my dad. Well, according to Jay, that turned into a shirt for her, one for my dad and 2 for me. All complete with limited edition, numbered, and signed copies of their latest release, all packed into nifty MCA gift bags. Yep, ass kissing gets you everywhere.

Where did all these thoughts come from tonight? Well, Jay told me she has to meet up with frank tomorrow. He called her up, and asked her to go down to his office, so she could pick up something that he thought I might like, or be interested in as the case may be. She asked him what it was, he said to come and see.

You see, Jay has this way about her. She is so laid back, and so confident in her ability to make music, that these company reps always turn into personal friends. She fucking hangs out with them. So I guess she was doing the usual, hanging out with buddy, and chatting away about everything. A subject will come up, and an anecdote will come out about me. Her aparent favorite subject, next to her music of course. I guess she started going on about the shit I listen to. She figures that her heading into the head office tomorrow is because of a chat they had. Not to mention I asked about My Dying Bride t-shirts for my brother. I guess time will tell.

Now Jay and I have a really odd thing. Sometimes we have tastes that are so simple it is disturbing. Why did we in the end sort of decide on MCA? Because they give you bumper stickers! Oh ya baby! She got a roll of 100, and has a roll of 100 for me. Yee fucking Haw! I of course made Jay describe them all to me in detail. I is just gunnin' of dis govena! It be da shiznit! Fucking eh!

Yet again....more ass kissing that is taking buddy far in life. Christ! I can't even remember half the stuff she said he got for me. I remember the 50pound bottle of wine, that my mom got excited over. The minidisc player, that I cocked an eyebrow about. There is just too much to comprehend.

Oh, then it gets to the funny part. Jay has this guy scared that I might say no to him. She told him I am an honest person that will set him straight if I don't like something he has done. It's true, but he got worried. She basically has this guy convinced I am a complete hardass bitch, who can see everything, and knows all. Thats funny. Hence the apparent rectal wash.

*pause to groove to the proclaimers coming out of satans stereo in his room*

She has a flight, through ottawa. It is for the 3rd. They will arrive in Edmonton at 10pm. I can't help but wonder if this time it will be for real. I have to admit she is starting to win me over a bit. She has this very subtle way of kissing up. It isn't completely obvious, but you know it's there. It's like an almost manipulation. Somedays I wonder if she even notices she is doing it. But regardless, I am falling under the spell of Jays charms.....again. I fucking hate it. Thats the reason why I end up talking to her again.

She has this way of filling my inbox with a million emails a day. Some are little love note, some are stories, and some are songs she has just written for me. There is always something. Well, when she is relaxed and happy. For over a month I had basically nothing at all. I had basically no email, no calls, and no nothing. Atleast I know why now.

Shame

Pure and simple shame. Shame for something she didn't do. Shame over something that was done to her by a complete cunt trying to trip her up in her rehab. A guy who has hated her for years. He got a fucking golf lesson tonight, but I don't think it is enough. I want to rip his balls off, and make him choke on them. She thinks there was heroin involved, I know there wasn't. Not at all. It was straight up PCP. Yep, the cunt spiked her drink at daint's funeral. After freaking out, trying to kill people, getting sick everywhere, and in the end trying to kill herself with a fork.......she came down. She came down so hard that her heroin cravings were more than she could bear. Thus she ended up on the Nal. Nasty shit that she hadn't been on since 2000, since after detox. It got her past what she needed it too. But rather than telling me what the cunt did. I was avoided, screamed at, lied to, and freaked on. When she finally started to talk about it, I told her my reaction to it all would have instantly been, what it was when I heard...."Is he still breathing? If so, why?" That simple.

The UK is a bad place for her to be. Everyone is always trying to trip her up. The girl is so good, that in May she found coke in her room, and flushed it. A few weeks back she said she found heroin in there. After screaming, freaking, and fighting with it, she finally managed to flush it. She has stared her addiction in the eye several times since going through detox, and she came out on top. Hell, we say she relapsed twice after detox. She really didn't. The first time Connor was going on about how cool heroin was, and how coll it would be to be a junkie. So, she hit up, and forced him to watch her puke, and shit everywhere, and nearly die from it. She did it to set him straight, and to keep him from doing it. Of course she had the Nal in her, so the smack was instantly rejected from her system. She knew it would be messy as fuck, thats why she did it. The second tome was a joint laced with heroin. March 4th 2000. I spoke to her online that night. She was fucked up, freaking out, and really sick. I calmed her down, and got her to go to bed. That night I kicked the other Lady out of her bed, and I climbed in instead.

Jays willpower amazes me, and astounds me. She is like my idol. It impressed me so much, that I quit smoking for her. When I had a nic fit, I would lay into her, and tear her apart. I didn't like watching what I was doing, so I decided "If she can kick heroin, I can kick nicotine". It was only after that I found out that quitting smoking was the hardest thing to do. Even harder than drug addiction. But, my lungs are clear. Well, except for the smoke I inhale when driving around with geoff. But cranking a window open fixes that.

I know it wasn't heroin. If it was the high would haven't of been so violent. Heroin is a mellow drug, a happy drug....PCP is violent, and irrational. PCP is scary. I have been in contact with it at a Misfits gig in 1998. Not pretty. Nothing but fucking superman shit that is. Not to mention I have read up on almost every illicit drug there is. Group home shit was interesting sometimes. They always had great books in the office. Lots of info in them.

Atleast I can still say, she has been clean from the brown for almost 4 years. I don't count other drugs at all. She never does them, she just ends up with some cunt trying to trip her up. I wonder how the cunts head feels after that golf club took a round out of him. Ona happy note...she did yell "fore!" a few times when she swung.

What an odd entry this was. Ass kissing, and drugs. Looks like Jays aura of Rock 'n' Roll is starting to rub off on me. Good god....whats next?

Ah! I know!

The dreaded groupies!

We'll just sick them on Geoff.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014