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~Because I feel old..~ Wednesday, Jun. 04, 2003 - 8:09 AM 1. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is." 2. When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning an then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee." I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half theafternoon." I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. I said, Well, why in the world would you be crying?" She said, "I can't remember where I live!"
3. Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a fewtimes a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought,but I can't remember it. Please tell me whatyour name is. Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know? 4. THE SENILITY PRAYER Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. I just had to. IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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