As I sit here singing along to Lisa Loeb, I question my life, and the direction it is going in.

Money appears to no longer be a problem or worry for us, thanks to the Meek Mans generosity. I have no worries from my neighbours anymore......except that I am anti-social, and they are constantly bugging me, or Jay, to go and visit with them. My mom is actually being half decent to us, as long as we keep our distance from her. My dad is my dad, he always cares, and still looks after me when I need him to. Jays parents are in a lull from being horrible to her. It almost appears to be a normal life. Who would ever think that a recovering alcoholic, and a recovering heroin addict could create a life like this. It almost feels strange.

Jay and I look at eachother alot and say "we fucking deserve this shit! We went through hell to get here!". I feel like I woke up today. Like really woke up. It almost feels as if everything will be ok for once. Tomorrow we meet with the man, and seal our fates. It is strangely not scary to either of us. Jay has gone all serious about what her music is going to sound like this time, and I am all serious about learning what I can about everything involved in the music buisiness. I know that I already have an ear for what is good, and what is crap. I even question the sanity of some of the people who have signed shitty bands that are being played on the radio.......like uncle cracker????? what the fuck is that shit? The guy can't even sing, the songs are annoyingly monotanous, and whoever signed the freak obviously has some form of substance abuse going on. But everyone has an opinion I guess.

I know that Jays ultimate would be to create a song that my dad tapped his foot to. He is a man of particular tastes. He got her into Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Doobie Brothers, and a few others. He always has her listening to blues at his place......I know she wants to atleast do one song he likes. Upto this point, she hasn't really done anything that he is into. This is her challenge.

I suppose I am just sorting out how I feel right now. I'm not scared, I'm not worried. Tomorrow is the first day of literally how the rest of my life will be, and for once I am comfortable with the path I am on. I think I found where I need to be.

When I was younger, I started to seriously sing. I used to dream of being in the spotlight. Weither it was my acting, or my voice.....I wanted to be known. Infact I am a legend in my old schools, I was always "that fucked up satanist chick". But I had dreamed of being famous.....but something just didn't feel right about it. Being behind the scenes though....this feels good. Maybe I am just a control freak.....I dunno. It just feel right to me.

Thanx Trev.

Laterz

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014