"Amber...get a grip"

So I hung up.

Fuck her.

I have had the shittiest of days. Mothers day....supposed to be nice.

What fucking ever.

I spent the day alone. Falling apart. Fighting off suicidal tendencies, and wishing for anyone to be here to hold me. I have mentally crashed. Crashed so fucking hard that all I see when I close my eyes, are all the fucking pills I have in this place.

I am miserable.

The one highlight of my day? "mpmmy you can open your present now" I go into my sons bag, find a present and a card. I get excited and iopen it. It was beautiful. A note pad holder that hangs on the wall. Made out of popsicle sticks, and tongue depressors. It looked like a garden gate, and was painted white. I was so happy I hung it on the wall next to my computer.

When Kristian came home, he asked where it was, I told him. He got it and handed it to my mom "grandma can you give this to granny? I made it for her". I felt like an asshole.

I seriously don't fucking exist to anyone. My grandmother made me feel like shit everytime I saw her when I was a kid. That woman is more to him then I am.

Everyone is more to him.

I am upset, crying, and wishing to just disappear for good. It wouldn't matter. I practically don't exist anyway.

And what does Jay say?

"Amber...get a grip"

Thanks for the kind words, and making me feel like you care.

And I am alive why?

Well.....No one is here to watch me all the time.

I'll get a fucking grip alright.

Whats your weapon of choice?

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014