Ya so....you wanna see an amber who feels stupid?

YOU ARE LOOKING AT HER!

Umm ya.......so, jay didn't call, because Jay was fucked up with food poisoning, and couldn't see straight. She was pretty sick for about 6 hours. And I wasn't there to help her, hold her, or take care of her. I feel guilt just from not being able to make her food when she was finally hungry. The only thing that made it feel better, was that something I slipped into her suitcase without her knowing, is what was probably the only thing she could eat. I was happy to know I did something right.

God. This shit is killing me.

The kids say that they have a feeling that all this shit with Trevor will be sorted out, and she will be home on friday. God, I can't even handle the thought of waiting that long. It hurts.

She called me tonight, she had fallen apart, and was all over the place. I wanted to drag her through the fucking phone, and crush her in my arms. I still don't know how I held it together listening to her losing it. For some reason my worry for her out weighs my pain. All I could think is that she needs to be here. Fuck the world! She needs to be here now!

Tonight was a rough nite, for both of us. As you can see for yourself in her diary. I just hope everything runs smooth tomorrow.

Trevor gave us his terms for a contract. I thought he was on drugs. He is implying that we will be signed to him forever for 60,000GBP.....did I mention I thought he was nuts? Needless to say, I typed up our terms, and sent them to JAy. She is printing them out tomorrow, and giving them to him. I'm playing hardball, and I won't back down. He wants her signed to him, probably more than we want her signed. When he sees my terms, he is gonna be pissed. Oh well, don't fuck with me trev, I ain't an idiot. You won't screw us over, no matter what you think.

Jay just realized, and I mean JUST realised that if I refuse to sign a contract, she is fucked. I had to laugh. She has a copy of our contract on her, and it's a good thing too. She has prooof of me being her manager, and if trev wants to challenge it, then he can't. She has been contracted to me legally since March 2001. Sorry folks, but she is literally mine in every way. *wink*

Well, I am getting tired, so I better get going. I took an ativan a couple of hours ago, and it has set in very good now. I'm just gonna pop into a shower, then into bed.

I really miss her you know. I feel like half of my soul has been ripped out of me. Like I am not quite whole.

This fucking sucks.

Maybe things will go good tomorrow.

I hope so.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014