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~The wonders of an ativan overdose~ Tuesday, Oct. 22, 2002 - 11:51 PM I miss Tawwy, and it hurts to let him go. I had to put him in tonight. I didn't want to, but I had to. He put Jays life in direct danger. I am, and have been, monitoring her all night. Tawwy fed her 5mg of ativan tonight. She is not supposed to have more than 1mg at a time.He fed her 5mg in about 2 hours. She had a psychological crash. I saw her scream, cry, flip out, hit things, then try to get past me to take more pills. I had to restrain her twice. I hate this. I finally got her to go to sleep, but I have to wake her up on a regular basis so I can check to see how lucid she is. Kristian and I both came down with the stomach flu last night. She has a phobia of all of this, so she has been taking ativan to help her with the anxiety attacks she has been having. Well tonight she lost it, and Tawwy started telling her to take more because it will make her feel better. I am still not quite okay, and I just want to sleep. But I can't untilmI know she is going to be ok. I don't want to wake up next to a dead girlfriend. Okay, I just woke her up, and she snapped awake. I think she is finally breaking out of the drugged state. Earlier it was harder for her to come around. That girl seems to enjoy scaring the shit out of me. I swear she is gonna be the death of me yet. I really do miss Tawwy though. He was my special little guy. Damn....if I still hurt this bad over him going later on, I might have to pull him back out. I miss him like crazy, and it has only been about 3 hours since I put him in. I don't want him to just be nothing left but pictures, and diary entries. I don't think I am ready to let him go yet. I hate this. He has done so many things that have hurt her. I know he is just trying to help, but he is 2, and he knows that he should check with me first. Well, I feel like shit, and I think I am gonna go to sleep soon. I just wanna make sure she is okay before I go. I was seriously scared of losing her tonight. When I am better, I am gonna kick her ass for this. Laterz IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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