I lost my fucking cool tonight.

I completely let loose on April.

"You don't fucking own me. Who I talk to, and where I go is none of your fucking business. I am not your gf, I will never be your gf, infact those supposed 2 weeks I never once considered you my gf. I did it to shut you the fuck up, I never wanted to be with you. Not then, and sure as fuck not now. I'm not fucking interested in you at all. Your pouting is pissing me off. I talk about girls, and you throw a fucking tantrum. I've fucking had it with you! Just because I'm single doesn't mean fuck all. I never fucking wanted you, and I never fucking will! Keep your fucking hands to yourself. I'm tired of you trying to touch me, and when you do I get grossed out. Take a fucking hint already!"

She showed up when I got home, I fucking kicked her ass out the door after 15 min.

I feel ill. I was sick this morning, then nothing to eat or drink all day, except for most of a can of pop. I've been on the go for 9 fucking hours. I'm tired, I feel gross. The bitch can fuck off. I shut my phone off, and don't want to know. Tonight the world can fuck off. I'm fucking done.

I have a bus ticket now. I'm feeling good about it. I won't be gone for long, but I'll be gone long enough to heal a bit. Today was a test for me. All in all I came out feeling ok. I thought I'd have issues, but I don't. She's been downgraded to close friend status in my head. Yeah, I miss her. But, she's gone forever now. She'd never come back, so there is no point in holding on anymore. I'm happy having another friend, and leaving it at that. I just miss the sex really. I do miss eating her out, and the feel of her on me too. I guess we kinda clicked in a way. I'm sure I'll be able to train the next person. I'm just lazy when it comes to it. lol

I wonder if the pills are making me this sick? I dunno. All I know is that I am not well at all. I don't like it at all. I wish I had someone to cuddle upto. I need sleep, but it never comes anymore. Not unless I get high first. But, I haven't been high all day, as much as I want to be, I'm trying not to give into temptation. I'm searching for my inner strength. I find it in shards I guess.

*sigh*

I need sleep. I have shit to do, places to go, stuff to pack, and I might have company tomorrow for a bit.

Then all I have to look forward to is my sleepover on Monday. lol

I can't wait. Chances are that I'll be good. But, you never know. lol

It all depends on how I feel. Cause if I feel like this...the bitch is on the couch. lol

Ugh!

I need to lie down. Fuck I feel like I'm dying.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014