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~Let off~ Friday, Dec. 10, 2004 - 2:24 AM Well, Jay is officially going to hate me. I am aware of this, and am prepared to deal with it. But what I did had to be done. I had no choice in the matter. I reached a point tonight where I was considering smothering my son in his sleep, then killing myself. This we cannot have can we? So, survival instinct kicked in....... (why do I keep hearing voices???) Well, I emailed Jays mom. A whole whopping 10 k of an email consisting of only typing. I laid it on the line, as nicely as I could. I told her I understood that she was pissed off at Jay, but then explained why certain things happen. Then for the 2nd time since Jay and I have been together, I mentioned her mpd. I reminded her mom of all the childhood abuse she suffered, and told her she had no right to be mad at someone for being who they were created to be by growing up as they did. Now then, chances are she will be really mad at me, Jay and well...everyone. Chances are when Jay finds out she won't talk to me for days, if ever again. But her mom needed to know that Jay can't work,not that she won't, but she can't. She needed to know why she can't work, why she can't look after herself, and why she always freaks out about wanting to come back here to me. I told her about the integration, and that we are close to the end. I told her straight out that if she keeps blocking contact Jay will end up dead. She is anything but stable right now. I basically told her to find a way to send her. I said if she was a burden, then get rid of her, send her to me because I'll look after her. But I also told her that nothing will change as long as she is there. She is a product of what they created, I am just trying to fix her. Wether anything comes of this or not.....if Jay never speaks to me again, her mom tries to bin her up, or forbids her from talking to me. It had to be said. I can go to sleep now. Goodnight. IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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