.........and we continue.

Okay.....where to start.

Ray had been welcomed into the supposed coven by everyone because of me. Renee knew that I knew shit, and had gifts, she had seen them, so if I wanted him, the group wanted him.

Well, one day Jessie's kitten died. Everyone looked at Ray for it because he and Jessie had been fighting alot lately...they always did. So automatically he "cursed" the cat, and killed it. Now might I point out that he is about as "magical" as the last shit I took? Here is where the fun is.

The entire group shunned him for a day, then decided the next afternoon he was going to pay for it.

Damn. I thought I could, but I can't. Why do I have such a hard time with this? It was 13 years ago, it's not even that bad. It plays in my ind over and over, but I can't put it into words. They just stop, and won't come out. Like something is physically stopping it.

I think.....well...I'm sure that was the day I went cold. It hurt so bad to see that beautiful creature degraded, and tortured. He was the love of my life, and when they were done with him he was unrecognizable.

God I need a cigarette right now. And I haven't smoked in 4 years. Fuck a joint would be nice. I need an escape. I'm fighting the urge to pop pills...I have enough here to get fucked up, or fucked off the planet.

Nope, road block. Something in me isn't ready for it. But let's just say that after that day, nothing mattered anymore. If someone threatened me, I challenged them to do it. I egged them on. I haven't cared about my life since.

Maybe it's symbolic? Maybe what they beat out of him was the last of my naieve innocence? I just don't know.

I'm alone in my apartment, and trapped in my past mentally.

I need to cut.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014