Well, I am now done with chatrooms!

I'm a dumbass. Really I am.

I was bored, and wondered what kind of chatrooms yahoo had that I didn't know about. So I went looking, and found one for NA. I got curious and went in.

Bad idea.

Really bad idea.

I was in there for all of 10 min. I stated that my gf was an addict, and she said that I replaced the heroin and made it so she didn't need it anymore. They said that was co-dependancy and I needed to get her professional help. I said I believed that I did replace it. They said I was fooling myself, and I need professional help too.

I wound up crying into zepplin's fur, and tripping him out. No one ever understands. Spouses of multiples tell me I am wrong for not sending Jay to a shrink, and they shun me for it after attacking me. Multiples think I am not as honest as I am, and shun me. Addicts that attend fucking AADAC shit act as if they are god, and I am stupid. And musicians treat me like I don't exist because I don't play anything. All that shit is basically all I can talk about, and no one lets me in.

I have even tried chatting about history. I end up with that being ruined by someone who knows more, and talks down to me.

Just get used to having no friends amber.....because it will always be this way.

I keep trying to hook up with Cheryl, but she never calls back. And Geoff? Well, I saw him for a couple of minutes tonight, as he got a new car today, and dropped by to show it to me. We spoke for about 10 min, and then he was gone. He just went on about being happy.

He asked me when the last time was that I was this happy with someone.

I thought about it.

Really thought about it hard.

I have never been this happy and content. Not at all. I was always waiting to be cheated on, or lied to, or hurt. Ya, Jay hurt me more than I have ever been in the 7 months she was back home. But we talked alot, and very serious, and in depth. She says it will never happen again.

For once I believe her.

They say I can't control her addiction. But I can. Her drugs are because she needs to feel loved, and it hurts her to think she isn't. So she numbs it with substances, or like with heroin.....feels love from the drugs. Ya, I can control the addiction, I just need to keep showing her how much I love her. If she feels the love and affection from me then she doesn't need to look for it elsewhere.

Capiche?

I just don't understand why everyone says that what I do with her is wrong. I mean, I have worked with drug abusers, and learned alot. As for multiples......is Jay dead? Is her system in chaos? Is she suicidal? I mean hello? Obviously I am doing something right. I would have to be.

I dunno.

Am I doing something wrong?

Or do all these ppl think so because they have never seen anything like this before?

*sigh*

I just want my baby back home. Then I won't need anyone, and can just get lost in her.

I miss her alot.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014