So ya.

My friend Cheryl is getting married next friday. Tonight was her stagette.

Fuck me was I harassed! She wouldn't leave me alone all week. She pissed me off with a comment the other day, and I went for her throat. I think it shocked Jay that I went at Cheryl that fast, and hard. Literal WW3. Then it was over. We both sighed in relief, and were happy and bouncy again. Then the harassing started again. "You have to come!", "You can't not come!", "You ARE coming!". Ya ya.....I didn't want to go. I wanted to sleep, or relax, or just veg out. But I went.

I walked into this fucking bowling alley with satan. He wanted to see the p[lace, and meet Cheryl. We looked around, and couldn't find anyone. Then Satan comments about them being downstairs. So we go down these stairs, and see a bunch of rowdy women. But I can't see cheryl. The bowling was black light, and satan was amazed by it. I finally walk over, and see a chick dressed like a hula dancer. Fuck was that funny! But her hair was past her shoulders, and last time I saw her, it was way fucking short. No wonder I never recognized her.

She never saw me, so I introduced my presence by whipping a nickel at her head, and just missing her. All I hear is "wtf? amber?" She looks over and squeals, then comes running at me. She hugs me, and spots kristian. She immediately asks him if he wants to bowl too. The poor guy really wanted to, and she was ready to pay for him. But my mom was in the car, and he couldn't. He was bummed. Then she says he will another time, and he comments about wanting to bowl for his birthday. She asks him if she can come to his birthday and bowl with him......and satan now loves her forever. lol

So I take him back up to my mom, and Cheryl comes to meet my mom, jokes with her, and thanks her for driving me there. Of course my mom took one look at how she was dressed, and burst out laughing at her.......coconuts on tits and all ppl! Cheryl said they were gonna bowl, and told my mom she wished he could then, but oh well. I thanked my mom, cheryl opened the back door and forced satan to hug her, then we parted ways. Back to bowling. We were sitting for a few, and she brought up the mini fight, and thanked me for it. She said her fiance was worried about it, but she said she told him I would understand. She said that she told him that she was stressed to the tits, and I had tons of shit on my head, and we needed to blow off steam. She then thanked me again, because she had felt better since the blowout, and she was grateful.

Now cheryl was wearing hawiian lei's. She had to convince guys to buy her a drink, and give them a lei for it. Some guy got a fancy for her, and she was sent 4 coolers from him in the bloody bowling alley. Then this dumb cunt who was glued to my side, and trying to be my best friend, runs off and buys condoms for cheryl to hand out for drinks. yay....idiot.

Well, imagine the sight of amber bowling.......yep......I did. Got 2 strikes, and a whole lot of gutter balls. You see, they invented a thing here. Odd things to do during the frames.

Frame 1- hop like a bunny

Frame 2- bowl blindfolded

Frame 3- Hold cheryl's hand while bowling.

Frame 4- Lay down at foul line and bowl.

Frame 5- Go upto foul line and bowl with both hands.

Frame 6- Stand backwards, and throw ball between your legs.

Frame 7- Hop on one foot.

Frame 8- Bowl on your knees.

Frame 9- Do a hula dance and bowl.

Frame 10- Bowl between everyone else's legs.

And we did it all, and it was fucked up. The grooms mom was following me around, and picking on me. Fuck is she funny!

Then we moved to the pub. Fuck around. Met a bunch of crazy ppl who were there....cheryl would go to get a drink, and then get lost in a convo. I would walk up, and get chatted to. I watched everyone drink, and Cheryl seriously power drink. But I was amazed. Everyone held their alcohol well. None of them got shit faced, and I got along with most of them......and knocked a drink flying, covering a blonde bimbo in it. *ahem* oopsy daisy!

So I got into some kickass conversations with everyone. And the entire time....like every 10 min...no word of a lie, cheryl would be talking about Jay. All night it was how cute Jay was, how sweet she is. How much she misses her. How much she hopes she will be here for the wedding. How everyone has to meet her because they will love her to death. How she is a pitbull if you piss her off. and on and on and on...all fucking night. I would be talking with ppl, and then turn to hear her say "she is just little, and so sweet.", I would say "you talking about Jay AGAIN?" She says, "ya, but she is so sweet. I wish she was here". Of course then she goes off on how sappy we are together, and how sickening it is. Ya thanks girly. lol

So the end of the night comes. We had closed the bar....she was made to do a hula dance by the dj....he he.....and humiliation by amber making condom earrings....it was done, she was full of a million shots, and double paralyzers. We went outside, and she hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe. All night she acted like I was the only one there with her. I guess she really did want me around.

We had some massive talks about her daughter, and gifts she is showing, and weird shit going on. Then she started in about hoping Jay would be here for the wedding. That it was amazing that Jay moved her flight to a week earlier just for the wedding. How much she hates her wedding dress, and wanting to hang with me more now.

Tomorrow is the bridal shower. She insists I go to it. I said I didn't have a ride, so she has decided she will pick me up herself, and if she is too hung over, then her mom is gonna drive us there. Fucking hell!

All in all, it was a decent night. I drank more pop then I can fathom, ate poutine, and goofed around with the grooms sisters. It was a massively nutty bunch.

No one asked me if it hurt to get my bridge pierced, Cheryl has a business card of aaron...the piercist, as the groom wants his dick pierced. lol

But because of Cheryl, everyone wanted to know how Jay and I met. So like 5 times I had to tell the story, and I always got "can I ask you a personal question? you don't have to answer if you don't want to. But, were you ever interested in females before her? Or did she just really grab you?" So, I explained I considered myself bi, but could never find a chick, as they were never good enough, and the trouts that hit on me disgusted me" That got alot of giggles. I was asked if I was bi, I said "not anymore. I could never imagine being with a guy again". Then would explain the patience, loving nature, and understanding that a female can offer, where a man can't. And so on.

No one was offended by us. They were curious about how we met, and so on. But they all seemed to think it was cool. It felt like I was chatting about a bf to them. No judgement, just a bunch of straight chicks saying "awe" from the whole sappiness cheryl described. They thjought it was great.

One of the girls...infact the one who drove me home, got into a huge chat with me about parenting, kids and drugs, and idiot parents. She totally saw shit like I did, and gained my respect. I told her she will make a great mother one day. She said she hoped so, but was scared about it. Hoping she wouldn't fuck up.

I have to say, it was nice being around real ppl for a change. One of the grooms sisters is determined to meet Jay, and make jay like her. lol She just kept asking if Jay would hate her, and beat her up. Then would go off on wanting to meet her.

THE ENTIRE NIGHT WAS ALL ABOUT FUCKING JAY!!!!!

She was the main subject most of the night. I was beginning to wonder why cheryl wasn't marrying her instead. lol

Well, the bridal shower is at 2pm, and I need to get some sleep. I am back out the door in about 8 hours. Fucking hell!

There goes my sleeping in on sunday.

Oh well

I'm off!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014