Well, Jay conceeded defeat, and told me I won. Then she pulled the rug out from under me, and left me dumbfounded. She said the board bs was nothing. That it didn't matter.

She completely shut me up. She said that we had gone through worse, and always got through it, and that I can't get rid of her that easy. Fuck me man, I started to cry. Typing this is making me cry again. She told me the only thing I wanted to hear, but never told her I wanted top hear.

When I got off the phone I called my mom and told hger. She knew what was going on, and when I told her what Jay said, then started bawling, my mom said "no shit! Really???" She sounded so happy, and so proud of Jay. I suppose much like the states, we need a war every now and then to ease the tensions. Or instigate a week of mad sex, as the case may be. lol

So I go online and Jay isn't on. I locked up my diary, deleted all pix and posts I had put up, and wiped profiles. I removed every sign of me saying anything about Jay. She came online, thanked me for doing it, then made a comment about wishing she could fix things on the board so she could walk away not having to worry about it. So, I decided to back her on it, and fix what I did. After all, I heard the words I needed to. So, I wrote a story/post for her to copy and paste. The story is solid, and covers everything, including my disappearance. I keep telling her that Geoff and I were con artists in our teens, and that she can never beat me, or out do me. So, I have an airtight story, that has everything solid, and even has pix to back it up. I am such a shithead.

Then before I could give her the entire story, he comp crashed, and she was gone for the night. So I checked my email, and I found this waiting for me.....

"w0w nice pic! shit it was damn good! you are F I N E!

well nice baby well nice you sexy thang you! you look really good! and k, shit he's growing up! you gotta send me the rest of the pics! i need to continue drooling! yowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwza!

i never choose them amber i never even choose the board, i kept it going because i didn't want the stress. it wasn't about the board or anybody really it was about how i felt. strange huh?

I know you did what you did and i don't blame you. but it does really upset me, i wish you could fix it things have gotton out of hand i want it as it was, clean the slate and never to worry over this bs ever again.

i want us to move on together but without this bs, i love you for you and it hurts like hell arguing and upsetting you. i don't want to hurt you no matter how messed up i am.

i will try to grab a card before i leave tomorrow. that way i can contact you before i leave, but it's cutting it thinly.

i love you amber this shit is crazy!

jay

i am so sorry

That was killer seeing that. I mean, I raked her through the coals completely. I was unrelenting, and covered everything, and everywhere. I completely destroyed her, and she just sort of shrugged it off as being "just a board". I can even put into words how that made me feel. Everytime I think things are done for good, she does shit like this,

In our chat she told me that I should get used to this shit, because it was life with a multiple. She went on about how being a multiple has her uncomfortable with alot of thing, and some things make her feel embarassed, or ashamed, so she hides them. There was a point when she said she couldn't tell me shit about stuff like these boards because I fly off the handle. I said I fly off the handle because she hides shit, and I stumble across it. She said that she knew if she told me straight out, I would freak on her head, I said "how do you know that? You don't, you've never done that." well, it just went from there.

At one point during the talk I was crying hysterically, and she was trying to chill me out. It's funny though, when she called me up, she was chatting away like nothing had happened, then it got heated, I cried, and everything was suddenly fine, and normal. She just came right out and said we had been through worse, and we would get through this in one piece too. It just blows me away.

So, now I am fixing what I did, she is sorting herself out, and she says she wants to wipe the slate clean, and start over fresh, forgetting all the bullshit. She actually took time out to listen to me when I told her about what was bothering me, and how bad things were hurting me. I actually feel like we connected today. Like things are finally falling into place. I feel like we actually became a team again.

I always told her that there is a way out of everything, now I am giving her that out. I just hope she fixes that post, and removes my last name. I don't need that being anywhere.

Well, time to clean up, and head off to bed.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014