Okay, first of all So that you don't all wonder....Jay, Steph, Z, and Jade are the only people in here. With me that makes 5. 10% of who all reads me, but I don't care, they can all kiss my fat fucking white ass!

As Jay always says, I am headfuck. I made it look like I was having a breakdown from Jay before I locked. Whereas yes, we are still having problems, and yes, I want to sodomize her with a baseball bat. I also keep in mind the rasons behind actions.

I spent 30 min on the phone with Toots, then about 2 or so hours online with him. I found out that he has been pushing himself out at the airport, and telling Frank he doesn't want to fly. Then taking Jay home. According to Toots, something about Frank doesn't feel right. He figures Frank is overly kissing my ass, because he knows Jay will make alot of money, and Toots figures he is gonna try to buy me out, and take over managing Jay. Toots wasn't keeping in mind that I am a fucking cunt, and we never had the deal before, so what if we don't have it now. You see, I still have 10 demo's here, a bio written up, and so on. It will be nothing to do pix up, and mail off a few demo packages. Once I explained that, he contacted Frank about arranging a flight for Sunday. He has apologised.

Apparently this time Toots has come out as a protector of me. Yes girls, alters come out to look after and protect loved ones if you actually trust them that much. Cool huh? or for Jade...Cool eh? lol

Yes well....Jay, now you know why you haven't flown here. I am aware of the fact that you see yourself going with Frank, then suddenly you are at home again. That was Toots. He thought we were gonna get ripped off. That is, until I told him I could easily walk from the deal. I think that shocked him, as much as it will shock Frank if it comes down to it. I am not desperate, and you know gifts don't impress me, that it is the person that does. He has no idea what he is getting himself into. Did you hear that evil laugh?

When you live with a multiple, you need to be able to bend the rules of reality. Last month it was Tiger that was preventing Jay from flying. He was scared, and didn't want to go on a plane. You won't recognise that name. He came out as "smack" but I am helping him get off the heroin, so we started by renaming him. It made him alot happier. Now there is Toots. They always mean well, but I get torn to shreds. Yes I know it is not right, and I know the situation looks really fucked up, but I swore to always be there for them all, and I will be. No matter what. I scream, yell, cry, freak out. But they don't know any better, and neither does Jay. She does what she thinks is ok. Her perception of reality tends to be distorted alot. I understand that. Ya I get hurt, but until you have felt the love of almost 2000 people all at the same time, well, you just won't understand why I stay. The mpd changes the rules of everything. You can't see the relationship as being a "normal one" it doesn't work that way. The body is shared by many, so technically, you are in a relationship with a crowd. If someone doesn't want to do something, or is scared, then things come to a grinding halt. Thats just how it is.

It feels nice being able to talk without censorship again. Too many people have become obsessed with me as of late. Let's see.....to list a few.....Melody(prowlingleo), Her friend Amanda(preciousgift), Gumphood, cookie-bitch, the evil Jenn who has been chasing all of us down, and avidly stalking Jade. Which is fucking freaky. And finally....get this, the dumb broads of orgasmic review actually asked me for a fucking pass to the diary. You take 15 min to do a fucking review, and don't read my fucking diary, yet now you want to? How abot FUCK OFF!

Oh...this is rich...I just got this.

"Amber,

Point taken!

Thanks for emailing me and being honest. I'm sorry you've judged me before

you even gotten to know me. Melody's my friend, yes. She's done nothing to

harm, belittle, or make me hate & despise her and until she does she'll

remain my friend. I'm kinda pissed to be judged this way because I consider

myself a very honest person and I for one fucking hate proving myself; So I

won't!

I just found you to be a very interesting soul & thought I'd get to know you

better. Sorry, to have bothered you. I'll unlink you ASAP. As for my

diary... I've locked up as well. Someone in my life has found me this

morning through a freaking google search and I'd rather them not be this

involved. I don't mind you reading me; so if you want the pass...email me

and so be it. If not...that's fine too. I respect your honesty and may you

be blessed.

Amanda"

Ya, she is so sweet and innocent. She has crawled up Melody's ass, and I am supposed to want her in my life when that obsessive bitch is one of the reasons why I locked up? How about FUCK OFF!

Jesus christ!

How many stupid fucking people do there have to be. The part about offering to let me read her? Ya ok. THe whole google search to me sounds like a ploy for sympathy from me, so that I will feel closer to her. Not to mention, if I wanted to fucking read her, I would have fucking ADDED HER TO MY FAVES......did anyone see preciousgift on there? No, and you won't either.

All the people I want to get fucked, and I want to keep out, are all the ones asking for passes. Even gumpbitch did.

Feel free to snoop. Alot are in my notes, but that amanda chick went straight to emailing me. Thjat weirded me out massively. too much, too soon.

Well, thats about it for now. Atleast I can talk about the kids again. Thank fucking bacon I can!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014