Nothing in my life has ever hurt more than walking away.

Sometimes I sit and try to pretend that none of this happened, and everythig was like it used to be....just 38 days of lonliness and rejection later.

She argues with me.

Yells at me.

Accuses me.

Makes me feel like shit.

She over stepped the limits of this relationship by bringing in another. Innocent or not, everyone has done this to me before, and I said "never again". I won't put myself through it.

Everything is my fault now. I did this, and I did that, and I treated her like shit, and fucked her up. I am a bad person, violent and nasty.

So be it.

I wanted a girl, I got a transsexual. I should have known better. She thinks, acts, and dresses like a man. I just put pretty clothes on her, and tried to ignore it.

I fucked up.

My biggest mistake was giving my heart to someone I couldn't trust.

I only have her word that she wasn't trying to get fucked. Her word that has been broken before, and has been proven to be nothing but lies.

Why did I do it? Why did I love her?

This diary will eventually be locked up to keep her out of my life. Please feel free to send me an email, note, or sign my guestbook, and request a pass. I'm gonna set up a generic group one, so it doesn't matter who wants one. I have the room to supply them with it.

Now I have a fever, am dizzy, and can barely see straight. So I am gonna end this here.

I may not have been perfect. I may be fucked up. But I loved her, and for 3 weeks I had no contact. When she popped up again I got confused and posted about needing time to figure out my head. That turned into this.

I'm off, I have a knife with my name on it. When I am done cutting, feel gree to ask for pix. I think I can scan my arms.

Don't ever fall in love, it hurts more than being lonely.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014