Hmmmmmmmmmm...........

You know...There's alot to be said about a woman wearing a cock. *sigh*

We have this whole thing worked out now. Jeremy attacks me, and gets me all riled up, then Jay comes out and fucks my brains out. It's like a constant gang bang....but with only one person fucking you. I don't really recommend that anyone should get themselves an mpd, they are alot of work, but for me, this is alot of fun.

I remember the fascination I felt when I first discovered J.C., I was overcome with excitement. I remember thinking it was weird, that everytime Jay got high, she talked about herself as if she was a third person. I thought that was just her high.....then one day I asked her name. My answer was a laugh. Since that day I have seen 45 Alters go in. We are now at 1....the illustrious Jeremy. He's a nice kid, cool to hang with. After all the assholes we put up with, I'm sure Jay will agree with me when I say, I'm glad he is here.

I keep wondering who is next. We are at a point in her therapy, where she is just creating new alters as is needed. One will just pop up. It's usually as the last one goes in....then another comes out. Thankfully, I have managed to help her to deal with the fact that she isn't alone. It was hard for awhile though, they usually decide they want to be out all the time, or that they want me to themselves. Jeremy isn't like that. He will hang out with me, and when in, hangs with Jay....but the only thing he wants is understanding, and acceptance. Not to mention sex once in awhile. It's about time we had a decent one.

Talking to the alters hurts alot though. Sometimes you end up with ones that are reliving a moment in the past. How do you comfort a person who is fighting a person only they can see? It's even worse when it is one of the children. When an 8 yr old child is reliving a severe rape, or a beating....how do you say "it will be ok"? You can't. You sit and listen, try to comfort them....but in the end you are powerless. You get angry and frustrated. You start to dream about ways you would like to hurt them.

Then there are the alters who just want to hurt everyone. Jay knew this girl on the net. She had met her through a penpal thing in a mag. She thought the chick was cool. She was in NY and liked punk. So Jay wrote to her. As time went by, they grew apart. Alot of things were said and done, Jay wanted to just move on, so she stopped talking to her. I discovered secret emails in a separate account 2 months ago. This girl was telling Jay she loved her. Was going on and on about alot of things, and Jay was responding to those comments. It was J.C. and Bobby. The 2 of them decided they wanted to fuck Jay over. Thought it would be funny to get this girl chasing her again, thought me finding out and getting mad would be hilarious. All that happened was, the 3 of us got hurt, and J.C. was gone when I found the emails, so Bobby felt my wrath, then was forced to rejoin. How do you explain to a person that it wasn't Jay? You can't. MPD is very common, but it isn't spoken of, so ppl just write it off as an excuse.

I have studied MPD since I was 13 years old. I have read anything I could find on it. I think my love for it is because I was meant to be with Jay. Out of everything I read, there is only one thing I can say about an MPD. Theories are nice, ideas on therapy are nice....try living with one. All of a sudden that "1 hour a week" Phychotherapy theory goes straight out the window. But somedays, it just wouldn't be right if I wasn't saying "HI" to an alter. Sometimes they get in the way, but other days...they help me as much as I try to help them.

Thats enough for now....I have to go battle my son in Pokemon Stadium 2.

Laterz

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014