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Love 2001-05-15 - 9:57 p.m. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! There just ain't nothin' like Lynyrd Skynyrd. I bought her a dozen long stem roses today. I had to, I couldn't not. We were at Amber's yesterday, and Amber did Jays eyebrows. Now she has this total "fuck me hard!" look to her. I have been drooling all over myself for 24hrs now. I basically raped her last night. We came home, and I attacked her. Bought S.O.S today, we watched it earlier. It's damn gory, and lots of fun. We are gonna watch Sid and Nancy soon too. I suppose tonight is an ok night......I'm just way overtired. I'm pissed off though. Her mom keeps saying she is gonna do shit, but she never does. We need this shit faxed to us so we can get around $200k, but she is fucking us around with it all. I just want to start our life together. I want to buy a house, fix everything up, then take her somewhere that I can legally marry her. B.C. will do it, same sex marriages are legal there. I bought those roses, and I was gonna ask her officially.....but I couldn't find her a ring....so I didn't ask. I guess I chickened out. It's weird though..I am in everyones face, and scared of nothing, yet I still lost my nerve to ask. If I could have found a ring, it would have been diff. I dunno, maybe it was a cheesy idea anyway. We fight alot, bitch at eachother constantly, but I love her so much it hurts. I hope that if I ask her one day, she won't back out on me. I've asked before over the phone....but I mean, I want to really do it now. I want to place a ring on her finger, I want the piece of paper that says "I own you" even if it is crap. Maybe I'm just crazy. I hope the fighting and arguing doesn't fuck it all up. I just want her. She is everything to me. My life, my love, my sanity. I am nothing without her. I wake up scared everyday....scared that she will have to go home, back to the UK. I wouldn't be able to handle the separation. It would kill me. I suppose time will tell. I hope she stays with me forever. IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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