Internal Movement -> Latest Bitching and Complaining-> Past Bitching and Complaining -> Interesting Comments from People -> ->Bitch me out here! My other diaries! -> My brain farts!-> My Bitching! -> My Fantasies! Szandora.com Free Pic of the Day
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The ex returns 2001-04-11 - 2:47 p.m. I guess I was born stupid. What a way to start an entry huh? well it's true. I thought it was over, I thought they had all gone. Then the ex calls. "I'm bored, I wanna go down on you" So I mention in passing that she should have said yes, and just beat the bitch. Then before I have a chance to say anything else, she takes me seriously and calls her back, to set up a "date". How nice. She has no time for me, but will drop me for an ex. She'll say it was my idea, but I wasn't serious. I think it's just an excuse for her to see her ex. She'll probably get laid then go home and tell me some bullshit story about beating this girl up. Hey, she's in the UK, I'm in Canada....like I would ever know the diff. She just jumped at seeing this girl a lil too quick. I choose to remove myself from it. She has been all sucky to me all afternoon. It's so fake. "i love you" said as if it's just a comment like "ok". How is it a person can just shut off their emotions and turn them on later. She pushed me away, ignored me, treated me like shit, and depressed the hell out of me, yet suddenly overnight she is oh so in love with me??? YA RIGHT! I fucking doubt it! She is probably just scared of being alone. She knows she has basically lost me, and is trying to sink her claws into me again. Problem is, I feel nothing.I haven't since she started to act like she didn't care. I look at her, or think of her, and there aren't any butterflies, just cold empty pain. I haven't been this miserable in over a year. It seems I am nothing but a toy. She lied to me for months about who she really was, and now she tries to say "i love you" yet has shown, and proven otherwise. Why do I even stay? I really don't know. Maybe I'm a masochist? maybe I cling to what was there once if even for a day? maybe I just have nowhere else to go? I really truly don't know anymore. All I know is that I hurt really bad, and have no relief from it. IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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