First she yells at me. "I could please you more if I was a guy". Same shit I keep hearing. It hurts alot though. She is always yelling about how shit she is. I can't handle it. I love her for her, and she refuses to accept it.

She hurt me again. Acts as if this separation doesn't effect me. How can she even imply that? I fell apart weeks before she left. She just never really saw it. It brought her down, so I wasn't allowed to show it.

I suffer from severe headaches now. Stress does that. Work is shit, my son is driving me mad, my girl is gone and acting like she hates me, health wise I might have multiple sclerosis but I have to wait almost 2 months to find out, and to top it all off, no one even bothers to call and see how I am doing. The only time my phone rings is to get yelled at by jay, or to work an extra shift.

I thought shit would get easier....it just got more complicated. All these dreams with jay, and now she is pushing me away.....yet she blames me for it, and says I am pushing her. I just want to avoid her now. I can't handle her shit ontop of the rest of it. It's all bringing me down. I'm supposed to be positive so that I will stay healthier.....and I am more down then I have been in months. Why does this shit happen?

I miss bobby, I wish she would email me. I want to know if she is ok. Then there is lil S. She was a good friend for a few weeks. I miss her asking for hugs, and hanging on me. Why does everyone have to go away? They always leave......always.

I suppose I should quit whining...but it hurts, I'm tired of being the bad one......especially when I'm not doing anything wrong. If I fucked up, I would admit it. Oh well.

I give up.

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014