I hate the anxiety that comes with taking Prozac. I also hate the fake anxiety feeling that you get as ativan leaves your system....you know....the feeling that causes the addiction to the shit.....well...that sucks.

We have a couple of new little ones around right now. I met Lickus last night. He is scared to death of everything, and everyone. Lil' Poe warned me about him, then after he went to sleep, the little guy came out. Lickus is only a year old if I was told correct info on him. He doesn't talk, and spends all of his time sitting in a corner. I got him chatting a bit last night. He was telling me how his mommy didn't want him, and was giving him away to a lady. Then he was sure I was gonna hurt him....instead I cuddled him, and put him to sleep. He asked me why I cared about everyone. So I told him I loved Jay, and have adopted all her kids as my own. I told him I hurt bad people, but protect my kids. He snuggled right up to me after that one.

How anyone could hurt children that small and sweet.....well, I'll never understand. I know her birth mother is in a psych hospital in Ireland, after being diagnosed as a Sociopath of course.....but fuck man! The shit I have been hearing from these kids about her! Thats gonna be other diary shit. I'm thinking those bits and pieces will be added to liz-in-hell soon. Just to get them out.

So thats about the extent of that. Jay is addicted to Southpark Racing again.....and the fucked up Jeapordy games are yet continuing. It's all funny as hell.

So I am worried about my buddy Geoff. He is majorly depressed after the split with his wife. She keeps shitting on him because she has no money, but sits on Welfare, and refuses to get a job. That makes me sick! Like it's his fault! I may as fuck be on it too, but I am on it labelled as medical, and would love to work.....if I could leave the house without nearly passing out from an anxiety attack due to my fears. There ain't nothing like walking outside and going weak. The human mind is a fucked up thing if you ask me. But anyway....this bitch is lazy as fuck...and is seriously fucking him over. He got his GST, she spent it then told him he didn't get it. I told him to get reciepts for all the money he has given her. The almighty soc will go after him for maintenance, and he needs proof of paying it. Of course she is illegally accepting money without reporting it to her worker. I am seriously thinking of making a phonecall about it. The greedy bitch needs to get smacked upside the fucking head.

Oh yes......and Ken! Yes sir! I know you are reading this shit.......I haven't forgotten about you at all. I just never seem to be around, and need a schedule of your hours so we can hook up. I got Jay drinking coffee now. I made her a mochaccino and she loved it. So I see a cafe coming on. I also still wanna hit you up on the cd offer too....we are just getting our shit together. Email me, and let me know if you, or someone you know has a laser printer that prints on photo paper, and a good photoshop program. Yes sir! I am still wanting to finish these demo packages.

You know.....it's sad that I have to talk to friends through my diary. I am so useless sometimes. But the phone rings sometimes, and I freeze up in terror. I am so fucking loopy, it's fun! Jay just goes along with it all. She's good at that.

People wonder why we are together.....ya shit gets violent, and ya my bruises were so deep they are still showing from the last fight....but ya know what? I am probably the only person in the world who will ever completely understand her, her ways, her MPD, love those kids...big or small, and accept her as she is. Whereas with me....well, she knows me, and puts up with my shit. She just understands. If I can't leave the house, she will kiss me on the forehead, and go out for me. If I don't want to talk on the phone, she accepts me just staring at it, and shrugs. And when I get the giggles so bad I nearly piss myself.....she makes them worse. She just completes me.

We recently found out that she is now gonna have to pay $1000 everytime she enters the country. That way she won't be turned away. That isn't a good thing. Her mom is willing to pay it, but is pissed off at it. And before I hear it yet again.......it would cost me $25,000 a year, that being above supporting myself....not on gov't money either...to have the ability to even apply for her to get permanent residence here. In other words.....I need to be making about $55,000 a year to be able to apply as her sponsor. So...ya. Ain't gonna happen anytime soon. I'll eventually get there.....I hope. We can't be apart.....and her Feb.28 departure date is creeping up on me. I dread it when she leaves. It tears us both to shreds. The longer she is gone for, the worse we fight when she returns. Thats why she tries to be back within a week all the time. I hope this time she will be.

Well, I'm hungry.....I'm gonna go mow down.

Laterz

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014