I'm dying inside.

She meant mre to me than I wanted to admit to myself. Now she's gone, and I'm an empty shell again.

I'm sitting here with a bottle of pills infront of me. Do I take one like I'm supposed to? Or do I take them all? Would they even do the deed?

I hit a low today. I crashed so hard. I was going to buy coke today. I was going to buy as much as it took to od. The pot doesn't kill the pain anymore. I can't stop crying. I feel like I lost a part of myself.

I scared my dr today. He asked me what he could help me with. I said "I want to die". Now I have pills.

I'm so fucking sad. It just won't stop. The tears, the pain. It just won't stop.

So here I sit. With pills in my hand. Wondering....

I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs. But nobody notices, nobody hears me. I want it to stop. I can't take it anymore.

Yeah there are girls. There are always girls. Everyone wants me as a friend or a fuck. No one ever wants me for me. I'm a fetish. A curiosity. Someone who is supposedly strong. Where the fuck is my strength now?

I can't leave my bedroom anymore. I don't want to know. I don't want to be touched, or looked at, or spoken to. I just want to disappear. I wish I didn't exist.

The pain just won't fucking stop. Why? What the fuck did I do that was so fucking bad that I always end up falling, and just as I do they leave?

I'm sorry for who I am.
I'm sorry for what I do.

Just plase. Let me fucking die.

Please goddess. Just let me die.

I can't do tis anymore.It hurts so fucking much. I cxan't escape it.

They are small pills. I could swallow all of them in one gulp.

I don't know what to do.

Somebody fucking help me. Please.

I'm losing my fucking mind.

Just let me die.

PLEASE!

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014