I've come to the conclusion that I am either a bad mother, or a really fucking cool mom. lol

I was sitting here doing my thing, and I started showing Satan the bass on my comp. Then I grabbed a Trance compilation I have, and put on some trance music, and a visualizer on iTunes. Satan shut the bedroom light off, and I had my 9 yr old sitting here spacing out to a visualizer with Trance music blaring.
He was sitting on the bed, then laying on the bed. I changed the song, and he said that the visualizer was causing daydreaming. So I turned up the music, switched visualizers to G-Force from Whitecap, and he got so into it he hit the floor. lmao
Now I don't know what he was doing, but I jumped out of my skin when he landed on his side. I said to him..."so buddy, do you see why they call it trance?" What does he say? "hmmmm? oh uh ya" and then zones again. I just gave my son his first drug trip without the drugs. That was funny as shit.

I'd love to be a normal boring mom, but I'm just not normal or boring. I'm warping him at a young age, and he's liking it or so it seems.

Now he is off watching fairly odd parents, and I am listening to Throwing Copper. I haven't listened to this cd in ages. I used to have it in my stereo in '00. Every morning at 6:30 I would hear the intro to "The Dam At Otter Ceek". I would jump out of bed, break into my moms room, grab my smokes, and a big glass of coke, and I would sit down at the comp, and look for Jay online....or should I say Ceige? CJ? or Joel? Whoever she happened to be at that time. Those were happy moments full of promise, and butterflies. That's when we first met. Everyday I was up just after my mom left for work, and I was on that computer looking for "That guy" it's what I lived for. It was before the bad shit started. I remember she sent me a shirt, it reeked od cologne. I used to lay my head on it to sleep. The smell enveloped my head, and knocked me out with dreams of one day being with him. Yeah, when this cd starts I still get the butterflies engraved in my soul from that time. But right now it takes me back to '97. Alot of pain back then concerning Satans dad(obsessing over pain much right now?). Especially "I alone" It was released when I finally found out he had been fucking Liza, and that it was his idea to have me charged with "Uttering Threats to cause Bodily Harm and/or Death. Yep...that hold a lil sting of pain to it in there. Hell, everything I own is probably linked to pain in some way. Not the trance though, it takes me back to coming home just fried after hanging out with yuri, and sitting in the basement with a speaker to each ear flying to the music.

Fuck I wanna get stoned. *sigh*

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014