Jays not here. But she will be.

She was in the car on the way to the airport when her mom called the chick who was driving.

Jays older sister Amanda was crossing the street today, and was hit by a car. She died almost instantly. This fucking killed me, and has almost completely destroyed Jay. You see Amanda was always there. When her dad banned her from xmas, Amanda snuck her a present anyway. When ppl attacked Jay, Amanda beat them.

Amanda was always there. Hell, I've talked to her on the phone a couple of times, and in 2000 used to chat with her on the net constantly. We had big plans of running around together beating up all the ppl that ever hurt Jay. This isn't real to me. I mean, it can't be. She was speaking of coming here for a summer vacation so we could all meet in person. It just isn't right.

Whats worse, is now Jays nieces will be separated. Jays mom is the oldest ones godmother, so she gets custody, but the younger one will go with the biological father, and his family. I told Jay to make sure her mom put in a will that if anything happens to her, that the oldest comes to Jay/us. I wouldn't hesitate to have her here with us.

Jay is running from this, and I can't blame her at all. I would too. She isn't staying for the funeral, she wants to be in canada before it happens. She just wants to be here with me. Personally, I would rather she was here. I mean, she regressed for the first time yesterday. She was triggered by some friends smoking pot, and regressed into reliving an OD. She needs to be here. They watched her as she went through the motions of ODing, and scared the shit out of them. The stress it doing this shit to her. She needs to be here. She needs to leave her past behind again.

I know she will get here, and about an hour after she arrives she will fall apart in my arms. I looked after her when her dad died, but this time is different. I am actually affected by this. I really do care she is gone, and I really do feel Jays pain. I can't shrug it off, and look at the abuse. There was none really. Amanda was the only one who cared, and the only family member to have my respect. Ya Jay got nailed by her a few times, hell, she was hit in the back with a hammer by her sis. But it is all sibling rivalry. Shit my brother and I did. Her dad died on Sept.27 2002. Now her sister on Oct.3 2003. Then there was her dog, her buddy Daint.....and in 2000 her son. I am beginning to think someone is trying to give her no reason to return to the UK. The things that gave her guilt over leaving, are slowly disappearing. I just want her home.

Amanda is missed, and will never be forgotten. Exactly 1 month from today is my sons 8th birthday. I'll be celebrating her life on Samhain, and will celebrate her life on the 3rd of october every year. She deserves it.

Why couldn't it have been Nicola?

IVY

Quiet-Bitch!

~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017
~Relaxation~ - Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2015
~The hunt is on.~ - Tuesday, Aug. 04, 2015
~Sometimes~ - Friday, Mar. 21, 2014
~Fawk~ - Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2014