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Pain 2001-09-30 - 9:38 p.m. Jat has been in the air now for just about an hour and 25 min. I am already miserable. We left her at the gate, and stood around waiting for the plane that she was ggetting on to land. When we knew it was about to go, we drove out to a side road, and watched her plane take off. I felt ill from the separation. A week with out her....a WEEK! How the hell am I ever going to do this? I feel like shit. I think my MS is going to kick in. I need to take all of my pills to try to sleep tonight. I feel like utter shit. We got home, and I got Kristian ready for a shower. I went to the bathroom for a second, and when I came back to his room, he was hysterically crying. I asked him what was wrong, and he said "I don't want my Jay to go!" I told him she would be back in a week, but he didn't calm down until I told him he could say hi to her when she called in the morning. He hurts almost as bad as I do. He said we weren't a family without her. I agreed. It hurts. It hurts so bad. I feel like I am half a person again. I feel cold, empty, worthless. She is what makes my life worth living. I can't survive without her. Please Goddess! Make this week go past fast! Please! I can't live without her. I'm nothing without her, a hollow shell. I wish I was dead, then I wouldn't feel. Laterz IVY ~WTF?~ - Saturday, Mar. 25, 2017 |
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